“I’ll do my best when Rebecca’s parents come in—she was provoking you, you’re under strain, there are mitigating circumstances. But I can’t let you remain at the school. You’re suspended as of now. And Tess…I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s any way the board will let you back.”

My eyes threaten to fill. What the hell have I done?

Karen steps back. “Go home, Tess. Get yourself sorted out. We’ll be in touch soon.”

Go home? I shiver. My flat isn’t what I think of when she says go home. I think of Bella waiting for me in the woods.

Sophie calls as I’m leaving the school.

“What happened?”

“Suspended.”

“Shit, Tess…”

“Karen was really good, but what else could she do?”

“Did you tell her about your stepmother?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Oh, why didn’t you call in sick?”

I shake my head even though she can’t see it. “It’s not just a momentary meltdown, though. I mean, today was, but Soph—I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I don’t think I want to be a teacher.”

“One hell of a way to tender your resignation, babe.”

I let out a laugh that’s half a sob. “I had this dream last night. It was…it was awful. I don’t think I slept at all afterward.”

“What was it about?”

“I’ll tell you about it later. Can you come round?”

“Of course. Sure you don’t want to go out? We could come up with a new and improved life plan over some cheap cocktails and a late-night kebab.”

I stop on the corner, waiting for a break in the traffic so I can cross the road. “I’m not sure going out and getting drunk would be a good idea. Come to my place, help me drown my sorrows in strong tea.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Are you sure you’ll still want to associate with me now? The disgraced ex-teacher up for assaulting her students?”

“You daft cow.”

There’s so much affection in her voice it makes my eyes fill with tears.

“You know everyone working here will back you up, don’t you? We’ve all wanted to have a screaming fit at some of the kids we teach.”

“But wanting to and actually doing it are two different things, aren’t they?”

“At least you didn’t go full-on Miss Trunchbull on her.”

There is that. But what if Sophie hadn’t come into the classroom? What if Rebecca had fought back? How far would I have gone?

THEN

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

August 2006: Two Years Before the Wedding

“Come on, Tess!”