I have a tenth-grade class first. By the time I get to school, the class is almost over. I rush in, apologizing to Sophie, who’s struggling to make herself heard over the noise. Half the class are on their phones, the other half talking among themselves. Not a single one of them has their textbook open. Sorry, I mouth to Sophie, who raises her eyebrows and leans in toward me.

“You’re lucky. I had twelfth graders first thing—I’ve left them with revision.”

Lucky. Yes, that’s me. I think of Dad’s call and shake my head. I might have gotten away with it this time, but I can’t ask for time off now, not when I’m sailing so close to the wind. Julia would understand.

Sophie comes over as I’m pouring a coffee in the staffroom at break time.

“What’s going on, Tess? You look…”

A mess. I know I look a mess. Curls wild, eyes dark-circled, my shirt as creased as the ones those guys from last night were wearing. I stayed up way too late, putting off this morning and avoiding sleep.

“My stepmother’s home. There’s nothing more they can do.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry.”

I told Sophie about Julia’s cancer on another melancholy gin night.

“Dad wants me to go home.”

“Of course. Of course you should go home.”

“How can I? I was late again this morning. Karen will be gunning for me if I ask for more time off.”

“But it’s Friday the day after tomorrow. You could go home for the weekend, couldn’t you? It’s not that far.”

It is, though. Way too far. Not in physical distance. That’s easy enough to travel.

Sophie doesn’t understand. Because I haven’t told her enough about Bella—how it happened, what happened. Or the wedding. Or Julia’s family.

“I can’t go back,” I say, draining my coffee. “I have a mountain of marking to catch up on over the weekend. Lesson plans as well.”

“But…”

The buzzer goes off, signaling the end of break. “Back to class,” I say, walking away from Sophie.

She doesn’t get it. I can’t go back.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

wake up

That night I wake with a gasp, a shout echoing in my head. What was it? Was it the dream again—the abandoned house, Bella, the night before the wedding? I haven’t had that dream in a while. Lately my dreams have been filled with Julia and school and…the woods. All my nightmares seem to end up there.