I listen back to my own words as a hallucination of my dead sister sits bleeding next to me and I sound despicable. I hate myself as Bella’s blood flows faster and pools around my feet.

“I want to go now,” I say, pushing my chair back. “Can I? You said I could leave anytime. Or am I under arrest?”

Detective Levinson shakes his head. “You’re free to go at the moment. But Tess?” he says as I stand to leave.

“Don’t go anywhere, okay? We’ll be talking to you again.”

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Dad looks as though he hasn’t moved the whole time I’ve been away when I slide into the passenger seat next to him. I see him visibly relax and it only frightens me more. He was expecting me not to come out, he was afraid I’d be arrested. The thought is huge and ridiculous but terrifyingly real. They just interviewed me under caution, so they might. They might actually arrest me for this. For murder. But I didn’t. I didn’t. I couldn’t have. But the panic keeps growing because of the little voice that keeps saying maybe I did. Maybe I could have.

“Was it…” he begins, his voice trailing off.

“When did they search the house?” My voice is raised. I can’t help it.

“The day before yesterday. You were out and…”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I’m sorry, but the last few days, the funeral—everything’s been so traumatic, I didn’t want to worry you more.” He pauses. “And there was nothing to find, was there? Nothing to worry about.”

“Of course. It’s fine, Dad. Today was just routine, like you said. Let’s go home.” I look out of the window as I speak. I don’t want him to see the fear on my face. Who put that phone there? And where was it found? Those gaps in my memory from the night of the wedding and before. I’m so fucking scared of what’s in them.

Max is waiting when we get back to the house, his face somber. “I’ll make you both some tea,” he says. “And then why don’t you both get some rest? It’s been a tough few days.”

It’s only early afternoon, but both Dad and I take the tea Max gives us upstairs. I’m so exhausted I really do think I can sleep the rest of this awful day away. The tea is too strong but I’m so thirsty I drink it. My legs feel like lead weights and the simple task of going to the bathroom to get water seems like an impossible task right at this moment. All I want to do is sink into bed and sleep…

“Tess? Tess! Wake up.”