It’s just…I throw myself onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling. It’s just it’s not only Dad who’s been sucked into the glamorous lives of our new neighbors. It’s Bella as well—all excited by the new boys in town, who only appear with their private school accents on school holidays or for the odd weekend, exotic and rare enough to never get boring. Between them going back after half-term and breaking up for Christmas, all I’ve bloody heard is Bella and her mates going on and on about them, obsessively stalking them on Facebook. Bella was round there the day they came home for the holidays. Her and Nicole and Caitlin swooping down on the boys, dragging them out. Jack’s nearly eighteen now, he gets served in the pubs, sneaks drinks to the others while the barman turns a blind eye. Max and Lena were there as well—their mum and dad aren’t coming home for Christmas. Bella told me all this and I spent a couple of days hoping Max might come over to see me.

Bella and I never go to the woods anymore. Or even to the beach. I like the beach better in the winter. All wrapped up in layers and hats and scarves, we sometimes have the whole place to ourselves. But now, she’s out most nights with her friends and Jack and Sean, sneaking in at eleven, smelling of booze and cigarettes, falling into my room to tell tales of who’s hooked up with whom and more. Me holding my breath, hoping she won’t tell me Max has got off with one of her friends.

Like Dad, she took pity on me the first time. Begged me to come along. But then we got there and Nicole loudly said, Christ, we’ll never get served with her tagging along. And it was true—the barman’s blind eye wasn’t quite blind enough with me there and he refused to serve alcohol to anyone.

None of them spoke to me except Bella. Did Max even notice I was there? None of them noticed when I slunk off home after half an hour. Not even Bella.

She hasn’t asked me since.

So yes, Dad, I’ll babysit. Why the bloody hell not? What the bloody hell else am I going to do? I roll over and punch the pillow. Maybe Bella will end up spending so much time with them, she’ll realize what idiots they are and I’ll get my sister back.

I’m making hot chocolate for Ellie, testing to make sure it’s not too hot before adding mini marshmallows. Bella is helping her change into her pajamas so when Julia and Greg pick her up, they can carry her from our house to the car and then straight to bed at their house.