“You too,” Bella says to Jack and Sean, holding the knife out. “You’ve got to add your names too.”

The magic of the woods is receding; instead I smell the dankness of the stream and wet leaves, feel sharp twigs and damp mud under my feet. I hear the trees rustling—whispering, feel the breeze get colder on my cheeks.

They’re all looking at Bella as Jack takes the knife. It’s like I’m not even there and I pinch myself to make sure I exist.

Worst of all, Max is looking at Bella and all of a sudden I realize his smile is just for her. It was always for her.

December 2006

“Tess? Will you babysit Ellie tonight? Greg and Julia want me to go to the pub with them.”

I look up from my homework. Again? It’s the third time this month. I guess I don’t mind that much—I’m not doing anything else and they pay me to do it. But it stings a bit that they always ask me and not Bella. Because they know I’m always available and they know Bella is always out. It’s the Christmas holidays—why can’t Jack or Sean babysit their own bloody sister?

Oh right. Because they also have a social life. Even though they’ve been away at boarding school, they still came home to a ton of Christmas and New Year’s party invitations. I know this because Bella told me. Because she’s been invited to all the same parties and I haven’t been invited to any.

“Or…” Dad’s still hovering. “If they can find someone else, you could come to the pub with us, if you like? You’ve barely left the house this holiday.”

Yes, that’s it, Dad. Rub it in that you have a better social life than me. Pity me enough to take me to the pub with a bunch of forty-year-olds where I’ll sit in the corner with a Coke and a bag of chips while you all get drunk.

“No thanks,” I say, slamming my book shut. “I’d rather babysit.”

“Tess—don’t be like that.”

“Like what? I’ve said I’ll do it, haven’t I? Go and get wasted with your new friends.”

I stomp up the stairs, the guilt kicking in before I’m halfway up. Jeez—I should be pleased Dad’s getting out there, not crying at home about Mum more than two years after she died.