His words, his voice, sends me spiraling back in time and disorients me. Me and Bella—Tess and Arabella, named for the Thomas Hardy heroines from the books my mum loved so much. Although, in the books, it’s me who had the tragic death. Even though Max always called us both Hardy-girl, it was only me who took it as a caress, for whom the nickname felt like a kiss. Bella always hated her full name, more so after she actually read Jude the Obscure and decided Arabella was a complete cow. She took offense at the choice, even though I think Mum just liked the name.

“How are you, Hardy-girl? God, this is a blast from the past. I hope you don’t mind me ringing so late. I just got off the phone with your dad.”

“He told you about Julia?”

There’s a pause. “I can’t quite believe it. It’s hard to imagine her not being there anymore.” His voice breaks. “I feel so guilty for not visiting more.”

He doesn’t need to feel guilty. After Max’s dad got posted abroad, he and Lena were sent to boarding school—they probably saw more of Julia and Greg on school holidays than they did their own parents. Even after she moved in with Dad, he visited more often than Julia’s own sons. But then, Jack and Sean had their issues with her. So did me and Bella.

God—her sons and her stepdaughters, all lined up against her in hostility, the only people on her side the children of her best friends.

“Dad said she hasn’t got long left—days, weeks, I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, his words coming out on a sigh.

I brush my hand across my cheek to wipe away a tear. I do love her some, even if it isn’t enough. I loved her for giving us Max. We only got to keep him for a couple of years—Bella’s death took him away again, and I haven’t seen him since—but, oh, that soaring crush I had when I thought my heart would burst just looking at him. Everyone else had crushes on Jack and Sean, Julia and Greg’s gloriously handsome sons, but it was always Max’s quieter strength and kindness that tugged at my heart.

“I was calling to see if you wanted a lift back with me and Lena. We’re heading down there in the morning.”

He makes it sound so easy.

“I was…” I pause. I was what? Am I going to tell him that I wasn’t actually planning on visiting my dying stepmother? I can’t. I can’t say that out loud to Max. Even after all these years, I want him to think well of me.

“Yes. Yes, please,” I say. “A lift would be great.”