Close the window.

Finn/Zadie watched the bird with the pinstripe wings whistle from the branch of a persimmon tree, its tiny body barely bigger than the fruit itself.

Close the window.

If she closed the window, the words would finally go away. Finn/Zadie hooked her fingers over the bottom sash, ready to pull.

Then out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mother.

Nora Wilder, back turned, frozen in the driveway.

Keys dangling at her side. The hand that held them trembled.

She bent over, unlatched her anklet. Silver links crumpled to the ground.

Finn could hear her own voice in her head calling her mom’s name, begging her to stay.

But Finn/Zadie said nothing. She watched coolly as Nora climbed in her car and drove away.

Then she closed the window.

When Zadie returned, her sister was standing in the middle of the room waiting for her, an icy expression on her face. “You saw,” Finn said.

She gave her sister a puzzled look. “Saw what?”

“You watched her leave.”

Zadie’s stomach lurched. She didn’t need to ask who her was.

“You could have stopped her,” Finn croaked, “but you didn’t. You just let her go.”

“How do you—”

“I was there, Zadie! I was you!” She was shaking now.

For the last five years, Zadie had dreaded this moment, but seeing the betrayal on Finn’s face was worse than anything she could have imagined. “I thought she’d be back. I didn’t know she’d disappear.”

“But you hoped it,” Finn spat.

“That’s not true.”

“You didn’t even want to come out here in the first place. Why? Why’d you hate her so much?”

“I didn’t hate her. I was angry.”

“What did she do? Ground you? Make you clean your room?”

Zadie clenched her jaw. “No. Nothing like that.”

“Then what was it?”

“Remember that day you lost Mom at the chili festival?”

“Sort of. Why?”

“Well, you didn’t get separated. Mom left you there.”

Finn shook her head vehemently. “No, she didn’t.”

“Yes. She did.” Wounds that Zadie thought had scabbed over started reopening. They glistened in the lamplight like mulled wine. “It wasn’t the first time I covered for her, either.”

An angry tear escaped one of Finn’s eyes and slipped down her cheek, unnoticed. “No…”

“I was trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

“So I should have … what? Told my kid sister that her mom blacks out and nearly kills herself wandering off a cliff?”

“What cliff?” Finn’s voice shook.

“You wanna know why I didn’t stop her that day? Because she was already gone, Finn. She had been for months. You just didn’t see it.”

“You wouldn’t let me! I could have helped.”

“You were twelve.”

“You didn’t have to do it alone.”

Zadie laughed bitterly. “What would you know about being alone?”