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Back The Wilderwomen Save as PDF
Chapters (37)
  1. Copyright Notice
  2. Dedication
  3. BEFORE
  4. AFTER
  5. ONE THOUGHTS ON SUN HATS
  6. TWO TIME FOR CAKE
  7. THREE TWELVE MONTHS
  8. FOUR PSYCHIC KARAOKE
  9. FIVE A SECOND SLEEPING BAG
  10. SIX SIX MONTHS
  11. SEVEN THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE PANCAKE
  12. EIGHT SIX MONTHS
  13. NINE FOLLOW THE MUSIC
  14. TEN THE STARS ARE BRIGHTER IN THE DESERT
  15. ELEVEN SIX MONTHS
  16. TWELVE EVERY STAR HAS A SONG
  17. THIRTEEN PSYCHIC KARAOKE
  18. FOURTEEN ONE MONTH
  19. FIFTEEN A WELL-TRAVELED HAT
  20. SIXTEEN JOEL VS. THE VOLCANO
  21. SEVENTEEN TWO WEEKS
  22. EIGHTEEN HOUSE OF MEMORIES
  23. NINETEEN IF TREES COULD TALK
  24. TWENTY THREE DAYS
  25. TWENTY-ONE SEARCH PARTY
  26. TWENTY-TWO NOT THE SAME ZADIE
  27. TWENTY-THREE WAVES OF SMOKE
  28. TWENTY-FOUR THE DAY OF
  29. TWENTY-FIVE THE SKY IS FULL OF BIRDS
  30. TWENTY-SIX NEST
  31. TWENTY-SEVEN
  32. EPILOGUE
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT A SONG ABOUT A BIRD
  34. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  35. Also by Ruth Emmie Lang
  36. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  37. Newsletter Sign-up

I want more for you

And for that I’ll take less of you

I’ve taken enough from you

Already

Joel appeared unconvinced. “I thought songs like this would make you sad, considering—” He stopped himself.

“Considering my mom left?”

“Yeah.”

She shrugged.

Joel handed the photograph back to Zadie. “Can I be real with you for a sec?”

Zadie tossed him a questioning look. “Sure.”

“Why do you want to find her? I mean, all I remember is you talking about how much you hated her for leaving.”

Zadie hesitated. The change of heart had snuck up on her, too. They’d been at the Van Houtens’ for only a little over twenty-four hours, but in that time she’d received a crash course in being a single parent. Every hour contained dozens of decisions, big and small, that determined how healthy and happy and loved your children felt. Nora had committed the worst sin of all: she’d made Zadie feel unloved. But what if the decisions Nora had made the day she left—walk out door, get in car, drive away—had not been her own? Then she was no more to blame than Zadie, who made the decision not to stop her. “Because,” she began, “I’m starting to think it wasn’t her fault.”

Joel, skeptical, continued, “I just remember how much you used to cry over her. It made me so angry. I wanted to find her myself so I could tell her—I don’t know what I would’ve said … that you deserved better or something.”

Zadie lifted her eyes to meet Joel’s, testing his sincerity. He didn’t flinch. Gratitude welled inside her. She remembered nights spent crying in his arms, how he would hum soothing songs and stroke her hair until she fell asleep. “Thank you,” she said, threading her fingers through his. Joel squeezed her hand back. Then his fingers drifted up her wrist, her forearm, her shoulder. When his fingers reached her neck, she knew he was about to kiss her.

TWENTY THREE DAYS

(UNTIL NORA WILDER’S DISAPPEARANCE)

“It’s not fair! I want blue hair, too.” Zadie had thought Finn might be jealous that Nora and she had gone to the beach without her, but that didn’t even come up. After almost two weeks of her little sister sulking and attempting to make her own dye by breaking open ballpoint pens, their mom finally gave in and painted a blue streak into Finn’s curls. “I can’t wait to show it off at the festival,” she said as she ran the blue tendril through her fingers.