Finn looked back at the giant maple. With the exception of its size, it looked like any other tree. Her heart ached for Rowan. She knew how it felt to miss someone so much that you saw signs of them everywhere, in everything. “And you think she’s in this one?”

“I thought so, but now I’m not sure. As you can see, I’ve tried a lot.”

Finn counted at least thirty holes surrounding the trunk, thirty failures.

“Dad says it isn’t healthy. That I ‘can’t properly grieve’ if I think Mom is still out there somewhere. I’m not crazy. It’s not like I think she’s a ghost or something. I just think…” Rowan stared down at her calloused feet. “She spent hours every day with these trees. They were part of her.” She blushed. “Like I said, it’s just a feeling. I’m probably wrong.”

“People said stuff like that to me about my mom, too. That she was gone. Never coming back.”

“What did you do about it?”

“Honestly? I didn’t believe them.”

Rowan smiled solemnly. They sat in silence for a few moments, the morning sun warming their bare feet.

“I liked your mom,” Rowan said finally. “She was nice. And funny.”

“Yeah, she was.”

“I should get home before my dad wakes up.”

“Yeah, I should get back, too. Zadie freaks out when she doesn’t know where I am.”

“I’m probably going to head back out here this afternoon if you wanna come.”

“I’d like that.”

When Zadie woke, she thought that she had traveled back in time. She peered down the length of the couch and saw Joel dozing at the other end, just as she had the morning they’d met. She could even feel the traces of a hangover and the gummy sensation of day-old makeup on her face, of which only the latter was possible. Their feet were intertwined like a dance frozen mid-step. Zadie delicately slipped hers free and swung her legs over the side of the couch.

She snuck another glance at Joel and realized, with some consternation, that he’d gotten better-looking with age. He’d talked about growing a beard when he was younger, but always quit a couple of weeks in out of insecurity about its lack of fullness. She thought the beard he had now suited him. In fact, she would have told him so were she not concerned he would read too much into it.

I’m flattering myself, she thought. Joel wasn’t interested in her romantically anymore. They were friends … kind of. And she could use a friend, especially during the times she was worried about Finn or—

The baby.

The Star formerly known as Ladybug sent out a small flare.

I will, she replied. I’m just waiting for the right moment.