Ruby said, “I can tell you what she’s been doing. She tried to kiss the owlet and it fell off the windowsill and then . . .”

Matilda started whining and rubbing her bottom on the floor.

Alex said, “Ruby, you’d better take her out now.” And Ruby went out of the door tutting and pulling Matilda by the collar. She said, “Don’t talk about stuff that you don’t tell me about.”

Alex smiled at me again and then said, “Let’s go outside, otherwise my dad’ll see us and you know what that’ll be like.”

Oh yes, I knew what that’d be like. I said, “He pretends I’m a long, lanky village boy.”

Alex laughed. “He would.”

We strolled up the back path. I walked along like a dozy butterfly sucking in the nectar of his Alex-ness.

He said, “So then, what’s been happening since I’ve been away?”

I said, “Er, I did a rap song about the owlets. It was mainly about mice snacks.”

He laughed.

I wanted to tell him everything so I said, “Beverley Bottomly is on hunger strike. She—”

Alex interrupted, “Yeah, I heard about Cain being hunted down by Mrs. Bottomly. He’s a bloody idiot, that boy. He’s always been in trouble, since his mum went. He was a right nice kiddie before then, wild and cheeky but nice. We used to go fishing and stuff together.”

I said before I’d thought about it, “He’s not that nice. He makes fun of me and does . . . er . . . stuff . . . and . . . now Beverley thinks . . . she said I throw myself at him, and it’s not true. He started the licking thing and . . .”

Oh holy moly.

Alex stopped walking.

“He started the LICKING thing?”

I could feel redness creeping up my body.

“No, well, yes, but . . . no, it’s not like that, well, a hailstone landed on my nose and he just licked it off. I told Cousin Georgia and it’s not even on her official snogging scale. Sooo.”

Alex was looking at me intently. It made me very nervous and that was never a good thing. I found myself saying, “She said she didn’t know if it should come before or after lip nibbling but . . . she . . . didn’t . . .”

Alex was still looking at me. “You seem to know a lot more about snogging than you did when I last spoke to you, Tallulah.”

Now I really was red. How could I be talking to him like this?

Then he completely bamboozled me by saying, “He shouldn’t have taken advantage of the . . . er . . . hailstone. But you can’t blame him for wanting to kiss you.”

I could hardly speak but I tried. “Me? Kiss.”

“Yeah, if you were a bit older, I might try to kiss you as well.”

The whole of me wanted to yell, “WELL, JUST GO AHEAD, MATEY!!!”