Contents ( 33)
- Dedication
- Contents
- Filling my tights again
- Lullah’s Lululuuuve List
- Return of the lunatic twins
- Snogs ahoy!
- The Blubberhouses Large Ladies Who Pole Dance for Fun Society
- Boy Ambush
- You don’t want to do any more winking back
- The fire escape of desire
- I’ve eaten snail shells
- Snogging and Jazzles
- The magic of puppetry
- Return of the beast in trousers
- See you there, cheeky miss
- My inner snogger
- Naughty bumberskite
- The church bells of doom
- Should I put nail varnish on my hoofs?
- The Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite
- He’s got the right amount of lip
- Praise the knees!
- Fir-cone earrings and knitted onesies
- The Taming of the Tights
- The Corker-Holding with Winter Socks scene
- Georgia’s Ace Gang Snogging Scale
- Tallulah’s glossary
- Back Ads
- About the Author
- Books by Louise Rennison
- Credits
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
Ruby was also wearing a leather cap and a ra-ra skirt.
She said, “Ay up, Tree Sisters!!! There’s some hot totty here tonight. They’re going to be well impressed wi’ me and Matilda’s backing dancing.”
Oh.
More and more people came. They were sitting on the logs and piling into the pies and peas and punch. Bob started testing his drum kit.
I looked at him and said, “I’ve never seen anyone wearing sunglasses at night in November before.”
Flossie said, “You have now.”
It was exciting, but there was no sign of Charlie and our boys.
Then we heard hunting horns and the Woolfe boys came rollicking into the clearing. Hoppy was trying to keep order.
“Boys, boys, don’t let yourselves down. Remember all we have as men are our reputations so we should . . . Oh now, boys . . . is that taken from the kitchen supplies?”
Phil snuck up on Jo and whispered, “It’s a sausage Guy Fawkes. We went on a sausage raid.”
We all started laughing. The sausage man even had dreadlocks made out of sausages. Phil said, “It’s our tribute to your rapping, Lullah.”
I felt proud. What larks!
The only thing missing was Charlie.
I asked Phil where he was and Phil said, “Well, he was at college when I left, sorting out the fire buckets—we’re the fire monitors. Hoppy said we need a more mature attitude to fire.”
I said, “Did Charlie mention me?”
Phil looked at me. “Aaaah, you like him, don’t you?”
I went a bit red but couldn’t help smiling. Jo threw herself onto Phil’s back and made him giddyup as her horsey so I couldn’t ask him anything else. Then Vaisey said, “Oh, they’re here!”
Ruben and Jack walked into the clearing. Jack was carrying a tom-tom drum.
I said to Vaisey, “Vaisey, please for once will you not tell me about Jack’s new sticks? I’m feeling a bit nervous.”
Vaisey said, “No, he’s gone native tonight. . . . He’s stickless. . . . He’s going to use his hands. He’s got lovely hands.”
There was no sign of Seth or Cain, which was an enormous relief. I hadn’t been able to think about what it would be like for Cain and Charlie to be in the same place. I couldn’t help remembering what had happened last time.
Where was Charlie?
Had he had time to think things over whilst he was tracking wild pigs? Had he thought, do I really want a girlfriend who frightens sheep, has uncontrollable legs, and puts her head in thorn hedges? Or do I want a normal girlfriend?
The festivities began with the lighting of the bonfire. As it burst into flame, Gudrun, in what looked like a knitted elf costume, was dithering on a box in front of the audience. She shouted above the cheering, “Erm, could you all . . . Would you very much mind . . . I don’t think that putting the sausage man on the bonfire is very sensible. . . . Boys! Oh dear. . . . Anyway . . . I . . .”