She went in the end, but she said, “It’s a free country, I might fancy being around your house or something later on.”

I said, “Please don’t.”

As she was sulking off, she said, “Anyway, I think that Charlie fancies me really.”

She is truly unbalanced. In a nice way.

I’m all ready, but it’s freezing, so I’m going to get into bed again. I can’t be bothered to take my jeans off. I’ll stay snug until he arrives.

Or not arrives. Maybe he’s changed his mind.

I felt really jittery and a bit sick.

Then, just on two thirty, Dibdobs called up. “Lullah, Charlie’s here!!”

I sjuuuugged my hair and put some Pouty Pink lip gloss on and another quick layer of mascara. Like I learned from Cousin Georgia.

There’s a funny smell all over the house. Harold must be trying out more eco-friendly heating materials. He’s outdone himself this time because there’s a slight whiff of piggy poo from the downstairs fire. Surely you can’t burn piggy poo?

And anyway what fool would . . .

I squirted myself with perfume. Deep breaths and then a practice smile in the mirror. What did Georgia say to me? “Oh yes, little cousy, the secret to smiling at a boy is ‘a hint of eastern promise’ but not full-on ‘I’m a tart.’”

I think I know what she means.

As I got to the top of the wooden stairs, I could hear the lunatic twins talking to Charlie.

Charlie said, “It’s quite big, isn’t it, Sam?”

And Sam saying, “It’s sjuuuge.”

And Max said, “Sjuuuge shoe.”

Oh dear.

They were showing him the shoe.

When I went into the kitchen, smoke was billowing from the fire. Sort of dark brown smoke. With a piggy aroma. Dibdobs was showing Charlie an egg with a hat on that she’s designed for the Big Night Out.

Charlie smiled his Charlie smile when he saw me. He had a dark blue coat on and his thick wavy hair touched the collar. My knees went a bit trembly, but there was nothing they could do as I had trapped them into thermal leggings under my jeans.

Charlie said, “Hello, gorgeous. It’s parky, isn’t it? But I thought we could go out owl hunting for a bit, if you fancy it? If it’s OK to come out?” And he looked at Dibdobs, who was knitting more egg hats.

She’s not hatching them, is she?

The eggs, I mean, not the hats. Although you never know.

She clicked her needles and said, “Yes, yes, you young people, off you go. Wrap up snug, Lullah, put your big coat on, it’s in the cupboard.”

I put my coat on and then Max and Sam put their little arms round my legs. We shuffled off towards the door as a group. They only let go when I gently shut the door on them. As he disappeared behind it, Sam said, “Ug oo.”

Charlie was laughing as he pulled up his collar against the cold air. “Erm, are they a bit on the odd side?”