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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Spring 2019
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Summer 2019
  15. Chapter 10
  16. Chapter 11
  17. Chapter 12
  18. Chapter 13
  19. Chapter 14
  20. Chapter 15
  21. Chapter 16
  22. Chapter 17
  23. Chapter 18
  24. Chapter 19
  25. Chapter 20
  26. Autumn 2019
  27. Chapter 21
  28. Chapter 22
  29. Chapter 23
  30. Chapter 24
  31. Chapter 25
  32. Chapter 26
  33. Chapter 27
  34. Chapter 28
  35. Chapter 29
  36. Chapter 30
  37. Chapter 31
  38. Winter 2020
  39. Chapter 32
  40. Chapter 33
  41. Chapter 34
  42. Chapter 35
  43. Chapter 36
  44. Chapter 37
  45. Chapter 38
  46. Chapter 39
  47. Chapter 40
  48. Chapter 41
  49. Chapter 42
  50. Chapter 43
  51. Chapter 44
  52. Chapter 45
  53. Chapter 46
  54. Chapter 47
  55. Chapter 48
  56. Chapter 49
  57. Chapter 50
  58. Chapter 51
  59. Chapter 52
  60. Chapter 53
  61. Chapter 54
  62. Chapter 55
  63. Spring 2020
  64. Chapter 56
  65. Chapter 57
  66. Chapter 58
  67. Chapter 59
  68. Chapter 60
  69. Chapter 61
  70. Chapter 62
  71. Chapter 63
  72. Chapter 64
  73. Chapter 65
  74. Chapter 66
  75. Chapter 67
  76. Chapter 68
  77. Chapter 69
  78. Chapter 70
  79. Acknowledgments
  80. Reading Group Guide
  81. Copyright

Freya and Max were gone for most of December and January, giving me ample time to dwell on the fact, now irrefutable, that my best friend had slept with my husband. I had no right to be upset—I had done the same to her—and yet, I was. I knew Freya was highly sexual, adventurous, and a risk-taker. And Max seemed to go along with whatever made his hedonistic wife happy. Swapping partners was probably no big deal for them. But that night had rattled my husband and me, shaken our foundation. And Freya had orchestrated the whole thing.

Shortly before their return, Brian announced that he didn’t want to see them. “I feel awkward around Freya, and insecure around Max. Maybe I’ll get over it in time, but for now . . . I’m not interested in being friends with them.”

Freya had planted a toxic seed in my husband’s psyche, and I resented her for it. She had made him think he wasn’t enough for me, and I had my work cut out for me proving her wrong. I considered editing Freya out of my life, too. It was what Brian wanted—not that he’d said so specifically. But I had to agree that ending my friendship with my husband’s lover, who was also my lover’s wife, would make things a hell of a lot simpler. But I couldn’t let Freya go.

What I had realized the most during her absence was that I missed her. Despite the toxic stew of emotions surrounding that night, Freya was the most vibrant, exciting person I had ever met. Without her, my life whittled down to Brian, whose mind was preoccupied with his novel; the store, which was struggling; and Low, who was . . . Low.

And I couldn’t walk away from Freya’s baby. The poor little thing needed me. Freya knew nothing about infants or children, seemed remarkably naive and uninformed about the process of birthing and rearing a child. While she was fun, stylish, and cool, she was also self-absorbed, flighty, and irresponsible. She had told me, numerous times, that she was out of her depth and would need my help with the baby. And I believed her.

I’d had several texts from her while she was in Mexico—breezy notes wishing I was there, wishing she could have a margarita, wishing she didn’t look like a “beached whale” in her bikini. She sent photos, too—belly shots mostly. She was also posting them on Instagram. Though I wasn’t very active on the platform, I’d noticed her photos and the outpouring of admiration they prompted. There were nasty comments, too, but the majority were supportive, adoring, worshipful. . . .