My eyes snapped up, met his intense gaze. I had been checking it unconsciously. “I’m waiting for a message from a glassblower,” I said, setting aside my phone. “I’m doing my summer ordering. You’re not the only one with a career, you know.”

My defensiveness made me sound guilty, I realized. But I was stressed, worried, on edge. And my husband’s inquisition was making it worse.

Brian kept his voice level. “Is that really who you’re waiting to hear from? A glassblower?”

“Who do you think I’m waiting to hear from, Brian?”

“I don’t know. . . .” He stirred the vegetables in the wok.

“Oh my god!” I barked. “Are you still worrying about Max?”

“Max who you had sex with?” he sniped. “Maybe a bit.”

“I haven’t seen him in months. I haven’t talked to him—or to Freya—because of you.”

He set down the wooden spoon. “Are you seriously blaming me for what happened that night? You’re the one who was desperate to have sex with someone else.”

“I wasn’t desperate,” I growled. “But you seemed pretty quick to jump into Freya’s bed.”

“Only because she told me it was what you wanted.”

“I’m sure it was a real hardship for you.”

“It was, actually. I don’t take sleeping with another person lightly. Unlike you.”

“I don’t take it lightly, but it happened! And now it’s over! You’re the one who can’t get over it!”

“I’m over it! You’re the one trying to hang on to a sick, toxic friendship.”

“It’s not sick and toxic! Freya is my best friend. She’s my only friend on this stupid fucking island that you made us move to!”

“I didn’t make you move here,” he said, but I had already grabbed my glass and the bottle of wine, was already stalking down the hall to our bedroom.

“Dinner’s almost ready!” he hollered after me.

“I’m not hungry!” I slammed the bedroom door.

As I settled onto the bed, glass of wine in hand, Freya’s words rang in my head. If you and Brian are too uptight to handle what we did . . . It was becoming clear that we weren’t handling it, we weren’t handling it well at all. This was not the first time these jealousies and insecurities had resurfaced. The distance between us had been growing, the tension and resentment simmering for months. Brian still blamed me for instigating the couples’ swap, and I blamed him for ruining my friendship with Freya.

I’d been worried about losing that friendship, but now I realized: my marriage was at risk, too.

Chapter 40

40