“You won’t be saying that when we lose everything.”

I closed the distance between us. “I didn’t realize you were in such a dark place.” I reached for his hand. “It’s all going to be okay.”

“I don’t know that it is.”

“We’ve struggled before, and we always get through it. Together.”

He sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

“But . . . why was Freya out here?”

He pulled his hand from my grip. “How the hell would I know?” he snapped. “She’s your friend, why don’t you ask her instead of accusing me?”

Brian jumped into his truck and peeled out of the parking lot, all plans for his run abandoned.

• • •

Alone in my car, I felt chastened and ashamed. I was transferring my own adulterous behavior onto Brian. It had so consumed me that I couldn’t see that my husband was hurting, that he needed my support. All my energy had been focused on Freya and the baby, in making up for what I’d done to them in some small way. But I had betrayed Brian, too. And he needed me now.

That quick, lightening glimpse of Freya flashed through my mind. It could have been a blond tourist in a white Range Rover, but I knew it was my friend. Her presence in the middle of the island was a coincidence, nothing more. Freya was probably visiting a pottery student on one of the properties in the area. Perhaps she’d gone for a scenic drive to clear her head. Or maybe she was buying some weed? No, not in her condition. She wouldn’t. Would she? Freya was a risk-taker, a rule-breaker. But she had to know that pot was not good for her baby.

When I got home, I parked next to Brian’s vehicle and entered the house. I heard the shower running. Instead of washing away his sweat, he was washing away his anger and disappointment. I’d reheat our lunch, maybe open a bottle of wine. We could sit and talk, and I would listen, really listen. From that moment on, I would be caring and supportive, there for my husband in his time of need. I hung my sweater on the hook next to Brian’s running shell, and that’s when I saw it.

A long, pale blond hair clung to the shoulder of my husband’s black jacket.

Chapter 31

31

brian

Jamie bought it, thank God. If she had found out that my trail run was just an excuse to meet Freya, it would have hurt her too much. And despite what I had done, I didn’t want to cause my wife any pain. That’s why I had to be so careful, so discreet. If Jamie found out what was going on, it would crush her. All the lying and sneaking around . . . it was meant to protect her and her feelings.