“When it gets light, we can look for the key.” I bounced the baby. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s almost morning, anyway.” Sure enough, Digger started to relax. So did the baby. “Do you have a blanket back there?” I said.

Digger got the blanket and laid it over us. We reclined our seats and I brushed the wood chips off the blanket. Digger switched off the headlights and turned down the heat to medium. We closed our eyes and listened to the sound of the heat blower and the engine humming. It wasn’t our first time sleeping in a car. In high school, we’d spent several nights together like that.

But with the baby in my lap, I didn’t sleep very well. I closed my eyes but was always half aware of Nell’s little gasps and coos. I must have finally fallen asleep, which I needed, until she wailed and woke me up. I tried, but this time I couldn’t make her quiet just by bouncing her.

“Okay,” I said, “okay, now.” I raised up my seat in the dark truck and lifted the many layers of clothes to find my breast. Groping for my own nipple, I made a path for the baby and positioned her crying face into my chest. Even though the heater was still running, the air felt cold on my exposed skin. Nell’s warm mouth would make it better.

Digger rolled over and grumbled, pulled the blanket all the way up to his ear. I leaned forward slightly to meet the baby halfway, to help her find the nipple. “Come on,” I said, “come on, please.” When the tiny wet mouth finally grabbed on, it was thrilling. Nell’s mouth was strong, and she pulled hard on my breast. Tingles ran from my shoulders down my chest and into my nipples. The sensation was like nothing else I’d ever felt: amazing. It blew my mind, and the sound of her suckling was like a miracle. Something was very different this time. She sounded like she was really drinking, slurping something. Milk! I tried not to move. I didn’t want to mess it up.