Chapters (65)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Part One
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Part Two
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Part Three
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- About the Publisher
“Hi, little lady,” said Sam to the child before nodding goodbye to the adults and heading out the door.
“She looks so different,” said Cally.
“Does she?” asked Ruth.
“Yeah, can’t you see it? Her hair, her lips. Look how much chubbier her fingers are.”
The baby’s hands were resting on her chest and draped over the car seat’s shoulder straps as if she had been struggling to break free but then got tired and fell asleep.
“Now I wish she were awake,” said Ruth. Normally, she was wishing for the opposite, wishing this child would sleep. It occurred to Ruth that she was upside down in this moment, a negative image of the real photograph.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” said Cally.
“I know.”
“Is everything all right? You don’t look so good.”
“Everything is fine. And not fine,” said Ruth, not ready to say what she’d come to say. “Sam seems nice.”
“Yeah, he’s great,” said Cally, staring at the baby asleep in the carrier on the floor in front of her. “That’s the one thing about this—I mean, I’m really glad I met him.”
“I’m sorry to show up like this,” Ruth said with a choke in her voice. “I’m sorry about everything.”
“Um . . . it’s okay, I guess,” said Cally, not sure at all. “Does Hal know you’re here?”
“Oh,” said Ruth, and there was the familiar burn. “Yes, he knows.” The truth was Hal didn’t know she was there. Hal didn’t know much about what Ruth was up to or how she’d come to feel about raising this child more or less alone.
“Okay,” said Cally.
“How are you? Have you recovered?” asked Ruth.
“Mostly,” said Cally, wary of this interview. Her lawyer had warned her not to talk to the Olsons without him present. She should neither admit nor deny anything.
“This is so hard,” said Ruth, “but um . . . I’m really having . . . a lot of trouble.” Her voice cracked and she took a moment to gather herself. “A lot of trouble with her . . . It’s been . . . really hard . . .”
Cally made a face, both confused and concerned.
“And I know that sounds stupid, because obviously, this whole thing must be hard for you, too,” Ruth said, and the pitch of her voice rose higher as she fought to get the words out.
“Very hard,” said Cally in a quiet voice. “Horrible.”
“And I’m so sorry about that,” Ruth cried.
“I mean, it’s . . . okay,” Cally said, even though it wasn’t. “And how is Jake, and Hal and everything with that?”
Ruth shook her head, unable to speak. “It’s not good,” she said. “Hal’s devastated . . . Jake is in . . . physical therapy, but it’s . . . not . . .”