“Of course I want to find her,” said Hal.

“You don’t act like it.”

“How do you want me to act?”

“Like you care!” I said. “Please go talk to Cally.”

“Look. I didn’t ask for this. This was your deal.”

“My deal?” I said, and my heart was breaking. “This is our child. Our daughter to raise together, Hal. Remember? You said I would be a spectacular mom, and you wanted to make a family with me.” I was crying.

“I did say that. And I do.” Hal tried to take my hands in his. I pushed them away. “But things have changed dramatically,” he said. “Look around you.”

“Jake? I know,” I said. “But he’s stable. He’s being looked after.”

“Ruth, he’s my SON!” said Hal, his voice booming in the stairwell.

“And Elizabeth is your daughter,” I said, not backing down.

Hal spun around, frustrated. He had a pained expression. “Not yet, she isn’t,” he said.

“Yes, she is,” I said, certain as the sky is blue.

“No,” he said. “We don’t know that.”

“We don’t?” I said. “Well, then, what else do you call it when your sperm is used to fertilize an egg that grows into a real-live baby?”

“We don’t know it was my sperm, okay?” said Hal, sounding defeated. Perhaps he was relieved to get this off his chest.

“Wait a minute, WHAT?” I said, and it felt like the world had stopped still. “What are you talking about? What in the hell are you talking about, Hal?”

Hal looked down. “I took out the provision where she couldn’t have sex.”

For a moment, the stairwell was so quiet, I felt I had superhuman hearing. The click of Hal’s heel on the concrete floor, the swoosh of his hand as he swept back his coat, and the squeak of his fingers landing on his leather belt. He stood facing me with his hand on his waist, readying himself for what came next. His necktie seemed to rise to his chin as he inhaled, deep and long, but suddenly, I felt I had no oxygen in me.

“Why would you do that?” I said. “And when?”

“When she asked about the coffee clause, okay?” Hal spoke, and it was like we’d been stuck in slow motion, but now our regular timing had returned. “The main reason she called me was about the sex clause. She wanted that removed.” His tone sounded like he thought it was reasonable and he’d had no choice.

“Oh my God,” I said, looking away. My throat was tight and I felt a throbbing in my neck. I turned around and squinted as if that would help me understand. I pointed at Hal and asked, in as controlled a voice as I could, “What in the world . . . would make you think . . . that that was even a little bit . . . okay?”