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Back The Surrogate Save as PDF
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Part One
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-One
  26. Twenty-Two
  27. Twenty-Three
  28. Twenty-Four
  29. Twenty-Five
  30. Twenty-Six
  31. Twenty-Seven
  32. Twenty-Eight
  33. Twenty-Nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-One
  36. Thirty-Two
  37. Thirty-Three
  38. Part Two
  39. Thirty-Four
  40. Thirty-Five
  41. Thirty-Six
  42. Thirty-Seven
  43. Thirty-Eight
  44. Thirty-Nine
  45. Forty
  46. Forty-One
  47. Forty-Two
  48. Forty-Three
  49. Forty-Four
  50. Forty-Five
  51. Forty-Six
  52. Forty-Seven
  53. Forty-Eight
  54. Forty-Nine
  55. Fifty
  56. Fifty-One
  57. Part Three
  58. Fifty-Two
  59. Fifty-Three
  60. Fifty-Four
  61. Fifty-Five
  62. Fifty-Six
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. About the Publisher

I turned around and left, waiting outside in the cold until the next available taxi driver noticed me and pulled up to the curb. In the cab, I was fighting the rising well in my chest, the familiar burn of exclusion, of not being enough, all of it taking over until I couldn’t stop from crying, at first a whimper, then letting it fall out in sobs. The driver asked if I was okay, and I choked out an unconvincing “yes.” He handed me a handkerchief, an old-fashioned gesture that I appreciated, and somehow his kindness made me weep a little bit more.

I returned to my dark motel room, dropped my purse and keys, and crawled into bed, in my clothes, with unbrushed teeth. I pulled up the covers and let the crying fade into my pillow, to sleep.

The telephone startled me awake. In my dark room, the loud ring was overkill, like a fire alarm, and it was Hal. They were at the hospital, and he sounded disappointed in me. I explained what had happened and Hal was apologetic, although it wasn’t his fault. He said there wasn’t any change in Jake’s condition, but they were glad to be near him. I was glad, too, but I told Hal I’d like to get some sleep. The red glowing time was 3:44 a.m. The weight of fatigue was like flood-sized sandbags on my chest, arms and forehead, keeping me horizontal. I felt as helpless as Gulliver and gave in to it. All of a sudden I couldn’t remember when I’d really slept or for how long. Before hanging up, I mumbled to Hal there was a key to my room waiting for him at the front desk.

When I awoke again, it was almost nine in the morning, and I was alone in my room. Hal must have spent the night at the hospital. I needed to get over there, too. Out of the shower, I noticed the message light: news from Raymond.

He had called to report that a legal messenger, a “process server,” had arrived at the suburban home where Cally was staying. The messenger had delivered the legal papers for Cally by leaving them with the older woman who’d answered the door. So, the lawsuit had begun. This could lead to us getting a custody decree. This was big news and I was thrilled. Raymond said he would call if he had anything more and asked me to please do the same.