I catch Carly stirring out of the corner of my eye. “Oh,” she says, sitting up and looking around the room like she’s trying to figure out where she is. “April.”

“I can’t pick him up,” I say, in a panic. His cries make me sure we’re not in a dream, but they also make me want to cry.

“Can I?” Carly asks.

“Please.”

She nestles Max in her arms like she knows what she’s doing. “Hey, hey, little man,” she says. “It is all okay. Everything is okay.” She jiggles him and he starts to settle.

“You’re a natural,” I tell her. I wonder what she thinks of me. I can’t believe she’s here.

“I was the first one to hold him,” she says, tears spilling down her cheeks like they belong to those words.

“You were there?”

Carly nods. “One of your nurses demanded they let me in. I didn’t want to leave you. They said they had to put you under. I didn’t want him to be alone. Max, right? You said in your letters.”

“Max,” I say.

“He looks like you.” She sits on the bed next to me so I can see Max and smell his head and touch his cheek and he can get used to being near me. “He has that serious thing going on right here.” She points to her brow with her free hand. “And he’s beautiful. He was beautiful right away. He cried before they even got him all the way out and then he peed on the doctor.”

I laugh and it hurts, and Carly can see it on my face. She winces too.

“I saw your insides,” she says. “They told me not to look over the curtain they put up, but I heard all these noises and then Max was crying, and I thought, ‘Oh no! He’s hurt!’ instead of remembering babies are supposed to cry when they’re born. So, I looked over like he might need help and I could be the one to help him. They were still pulling his legs from you. Your blood is very red. And Max looked blue until he cried enough oxygen into himself. I had to sit down before I held him, because my knees were wobbling.”

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Carly shrugs. “Don’t be sorry. Everyone has insides. I’m glad I got to be there with both of you.”

We watch Max close his eyes and open them again, like he knows there’s so much to see even though he’s still exhausted.

When Max finally falls back to sleep Carly says, “I remembered Margo’s name—I remembered you talking about her. I hope she was the right person to call.”

“She was the perfect person. Thank you.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me why you were leaving.”

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”