He looked out to the sea. The half-moon hung low in the sky and nearby an owl called.

‘Gramps, she said she . . .’

Alex returned. He placed the glasses and the bottle down on the teak side-table.

Gramps reached out and squeezed her hand. He whispered, ‘Whatever she said, it doesn’t matter.’

Alex handed her a glass and she inhaled the sweet yet burning scent as he sat down beside her. Gramps’ hand shook has he held his glass aloft and looked to the bedroom window. The silhouette of the nurse moved about the room.

Lottie sighed, and Alex placed an arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him for a moment.

‘Thank you both for your help.’ Gramps took a sip.

Alex nodded and raised his glass. ‘Thank you for believing in me.’

Lottie welled up and snuffled. This was all too much, and she searched the darkness looking for her mother. It would have been good to have her here with them.

61. Joan

61

Joan

4 August 1962, 10.15 p.m.

After cheese and port, I am surprised that any of us can move but the musicians are playing in the smoking room. A glance down at my stomach confirms my fears are unfounded. It isn’t bulging. There is no sign of over-indulgence on show. I noticed the vicar’s wife discretely burping into her napkin as she places it on the table. Allan walks past me, running his fingers along my upper arm. I shiver, watching him head out of the opened French windows into the garden, picking up a box of cigars. Several of the men of the party follow immediately, but I head to my bedroom to replace my gloves. I have another pair and if I rinse these now the stain will come out, but if I leave it until the morning, its shadow mark will be there always, ruining them. Then they would only be fit for Diana’s dressing up box.

The light in the bathroom colours my skin sallow. Where has the healthy glow from the sun and the sea gone? Dark circles are highlighted, and I look older than my thirty years. Sighing, I turn the cold tap on, wet my glove and rub a bit of soap on the spot. Despite my diligent work, the stain doesn’t want to lift. I shut the tap off and wring the gloves out. It will require bleach.