She pulled out her diary and looked at what she had written.

Dear Diary,

I am sitting at the front of the boat as I write this. This is the best day we have had, and I’m bored. There is the smell of sick coming up from below and it makes me feel ill. Adults are strange. The sailing was fun, but Mrs Hesketh got seasick, and everyone thought it was funny and spoke about the wine. She looked too white, but no one took much notice of her and the smell was disgusting.

She pulled the pencil from her bag then took another bite of scone. The jam and the clotted cream stuck to her lips. Mrs Hoskine laughed when she looked at her. ‘I don’t know where you put all the food, but you have grown since you arrived.’

‘Have I?’ Diana sat straighter then began to write but stopped. Out of the window Uncle Tom talked to a man she didn’t know. Uncle Tom looked unhappy. She hoped she was wrong, but she felt sad just looking at him.

48. Lottie

48

Lottie

4 August 2018, 4.45 p.m.

The beach was huge with the tide almost fully out. Kids were crabbing in the pools between the rocks to her right. Lottie walked along the firm sand keeping her flip flops on. Her foot felt almost normal. Around her some families were beginning to call it a day, packing up their things. She looked down at a piece of seaweed. It was rippled and in the ripples were drops of water and her fingers twitched. She wanted a pencil and paper to sketch the design. She pictured silver and gold bent and twisted to look like the seaweed and gems acting as the water drops.

She sighed. It was good to know the desire was still there. After the debacle with the theft, she couldn’t work. It wasn’t just that her raw materials were gone but when Paul stole it all, he took the desire with it. She had collapsed. Everything that saw beauty in the world had left her.

Now was not the time to think about that, she had other concerns. She looked up to the watchtower. Gran. Allan Trewin. Mum. Her hand went to her mouth. No wonder Gran had been so quiet ten years ago when Lottie’s world had broken wide open.

‘It’s history.’ Alex said, and she jumped.

He held two ice creams and handed one to her. ‘I thought you could use some bolstering.’

She laughed and took it. ‘Thanks.’ They walked to the wall together and sat. Lottie stared out to the point thinking about John.

‘It’s best to leave things in the past.’

‘Easier said than done.’ She licked the ice cream around the cone before biting the flake. ‘If I hadn’t been a needy idiot all those years ago, John would be alive.’

‘No, you can’t think that way.’