He doesn’t want to be sneered at and talked down to by Taisie and her precious mates. He doesn’t know what’s got into her, but she’s changed overnight. He doesn’t even know if it’s something he’s done, or if she’s got PMT or what. You’re not friends with someone since nursery and then go off on one for no reason. He supposes getting off with Rosa after he and Taisie had kissed only the weekend before wasn’t a great idea, but Rosa cornered him and stuck her tongue down his throat.

He draws a deep breath and lets it go; no matter what, Taisie is his oldest friend and upsetting her is a big deal. He’s used to her – she’s the only girl he is used to – and the last thing he wants is to lose her friendship. Yeah, she has flashes of temper and can be unreasonable, but she makes up for it by being his friend and by being fun. At least she used to. Maybe that’s it. She’s changed and expects him to change with her and is cross because he won’t play her games. Should he have kissed her? She’s gorgeous but he finds it uncomfortable to think about her in that way. He still feels weird about their drunken kiss at the barbecue. It felt incestuous, although of course it wasn’t. Whatever. They know each other too well.

If it is about that, then there’s not a lot he can do. She’ll come round eventually.

GRACE

Monday, 16 April 2018

‘IS NICK BACK?’ LOTTIE SAYS SLEEPILY AS I OPEN HER curtains.

I am barely awake myself, still groggy from the sleeping pill I took at two in the morning. Sunday was an awful day. A trip to the police station elicited nothing but a confusing set of statistics and a request to wait. Nick has been classed as absent. He won’t be officially missing until Thursday. Picking Lottie up from Cassie’s house, I couldn’t face saying anything. Cassie looked utterly exhausted, her house was in chaos and she was practically throwing children and sleeping bags at their parents. Explaining to Lottie why Nick wasn’t there was impossible. I thought about telling her that he’d gone to visit his grandmother who hasn’t been well for a while, but in the end I couldn’t sustain the lie. Lottie asks too many questions.

‘No. Not yet.’

She pulls the duvet over her head. I sit down and wait with my hand on the curve of her shoulder until she peeps out. I feel like getting under the covers with her.

‘When’s he coming home?’

‘I don’t know, darling. But soon, I hope.’

‘Doesn’t he love us any more?’