And if he doesn’t come back?

But I won’t think about that.

After he’s gone, I make the risotto and steam the vegetables, but the chicken is spoilt, overdone and stringy. Lottie and I chew disconsolately, leaving most of the chicken on our plates. Nick’s plate is covered with a Pyrex bowl to stop the food drying out. I’ll have it for lunch tomorrow. We don’t talk much, and I hate and resent the silence that has fallen between us. Lottie has always been chatty and open, but right now her body language is that of a teenager, withdrawn, folded in on herself. I badly need a hug, but I daren’t ask.

‘Lottie, I’ve told Nick’s work that he’s ill. OK?’

She pushes her plate away and looks at me. ‘Is he?’

‘No.’

‘Then why did you—’

‘I thought it was best.’

‘Can I tell Hannah?’

‘No, not yet, sweetie. I don’t want everyone knowing our business.’ Now I sound like my grandmother.

I have a horrible thought. I jump up and go to the fridge to look at my calendar. Tomorrow is Tuesday. There’s a coffee morning and it’s happening at my house. I’d totally forgotten about it. My mind spirals into panic. It’s too late to cancel, and what would I say anyway?

I should have made brownies. They’ll have to make do with shop bought. I’ve got bigger things to worry about.

TAISIE

July 2000

IT WAS THE END OF THE FOURTH DAY; AN AFTERNOON spent lounging around with the Moody twins talking about boys, gossiping and sunbathing, exhausted by an enforced cycle ride that morning. The adults banged on about how beautiful it was, but scenery was so not her thing. She’d seen it before. She knew Izzy was breaking the Nick rules whenever she could, but it was too hot to get worked up about it.

Secretly, what Taisie liked about those balmy evenings was the temporary cessation of hostilities between her and Nick, with him restored to visibility by the presence of their parents. It was bittersweet. Sometimes, when he looked unhappy, he reminded her of when they were younger. She wished she hadn’t started this stupid game, because it was making her miserable, but she couldn’t stop it, not without losing face. She wanted her friend back. Unfortunately she had probably pissed him off so thoroughly that he would never trust her again.