The house itself isn’t so bad. A sprawling grey stone pile that looks like a film set, cheered up by some sort of climber, leaves fluttering in the breeze. There’s a big arched door at the front that no one uses much. You step into a hall that is pitch dark after the sunshine, and that leads to a rabbit warren of rooms. There’s a library, Angus’s study – out of bounds – drawing room, kitchen, a snug with a narrow set of servants’ stairs leading off it and, best of all, a games room with a snooker table, dartboard, table football and a cupboard full of board games, packs of cards and puzzles. Upstairs there are so many bedrooms he doesn’t think he’s counted them all, and three tired-looking bathrooms with yellowed enamel baths and worn-out carpets. It’s all quite grotty, but that’s OK. It means you can put your feet up on the sofa and slob around without anyone yelling at you. Outside there’s an unheated swimming pool – for a millionaire, Angus is seriously tight-fisted – a tennis court and woodlands that lead to a river where they can kayak. There’s a housekeeper – Mrs Burrows – who he likes. She’s nice and doesn’t mind them raiding the biscuit tin.

Taisie had said it was fun down there, that her family had been visiting the Moodys every year since she was a baby. Her mum went to university with Lorna Moody. It’s Lorna’s house and the furniture has belonged to generations of her family and can’t be changed. It’s sacred or something. They actually live in Kensington, but also own a chalet in Switzerland and a villa in Anguilla.

Taisie said they could camp in the woods if they wanted. She even said the twins were great; friendly and cool. A bit of dramatic licence there. Cool, yeah, but not in a good way. More like cool as ice. And friendly – if you can call looking him up and down before cracking an excuse for a smile, friendly.

Things he does not want:

He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be forced to bear witness to his father’s attempts to hard-sell his latest venture. He wants to be back in London, preferably under Westway, on his skateboard.

He doesn’t want to watch his mum struggling. She and Jess Wells have always been close, but Lorna Moody has known Jess from before babies, and they keep going down Memory Lane and talking about people his mum hasn’t met and the fun they had at university. Taisie’s mum is a different person here. Yesterday afternoon he heard them all talking, then Jess said to Nick’s mum, ‘Cora, you look tired. Why don’t you put your feet up and read a book? We won’t mind.’

Not subtle.