Where would she be if she had never met him? Would she and Nick have had a long conversation that night, putting both their worlds to rights? She imagined she was running downstairs to open the door to him, not Douglas. She would have offered him a glass of wine. He might have agreed to help, to undo the damage his father had done. Somewhere out there, there was a teenaged girl who connected them by blood. With Tim and Nick’s help they might have found her. She might look like Izzy.

This was not her fault. She was as much of a victim as Nick.

Finally her car pulled out and moved down Burnside Road. She touched her short hair, felt the still sensitive ridge of scar tissue. By the time her case came to trial, she would be pretty again.

GRACE

July 2018

IT’S AMAZING HOW QUICKLY WE RETURN TO AN OUTWARD normality. We kiss as we pass in the corridor, he touches my shoulder, moving me out of the way to get to the mug cupboard, I glance at his size-twelve shoes, kicked off in front of the sofa. Toffee stretches, yawns widely and mooches over to be stroked. The smell of coffee. A sleepy Lottie appearing in the doorway, her hair all mussed, wanting food.

Wanting to check he’s still there.

We keep checking, keep pinching ourselves. But that’s the surface. Underneath it’s different; there are currents that are impossible to control with smiles and kisses and reassuring words.

I glance at my daughter, watching her move between the fridge and the larder cupboard. This is hardest for her. She’s lost the father she adored. Douglas was part of her. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she’s rebuffed my efforts. I don’t know if she blames me, or if she blames anyone, all I know is that she’s wounded. She trusted him completely.

It was the cleaning company who found the vital evidence: Nick’s credit card under the space between the skirting and an uneven bit of wood flooring in Anna’s kitchen. They recognized Nick’s name from the news and contacted the police, who moved with surprising speed, considering their sluggishness up until that moment. It was enough to secure a warrant for Anna’s arrest that afternoon, and a search warrant that eventually placed both Douglas and Nick in the house. Traces of blood spatter were found in Anna’s kitchen. Nick’s blood.