What if it wasn’t the first time they’d met? Jealousy flickers into life. I haven’t felt this way since Douglas, as though a seam of it is running through my body, lighting up, a lurid green. What if she and he … I grit my teeth. I will kill her if it’s true.

She grimaces. ‘Sorry. Any other time, but I’m getting behind on orders.’

‘Oh, well. That’s fine, I just wanted to ask you something.’

I’m the one going red now. Her eyes are on my face, her eyebrows raised.

‘What?’

‘Did you happen to bump into Nick on Thursday evening?’

‘Nick? Is that your bloke?’ She frowns. ‘I’ve never met him.’ She tucks a loose strand of hair up under the edge of the scarf. ‘Why?’

I study her face, trying to gauge if she’s telling the truth. She looks back steadily.

‘Sorry. I don’t know why I thought—’

Her face softens. ‘Tell me.’

‘He’s …’ A tear squeezes out of my eye. I wipe it away. ‘Sorry, I haven’t had much sleep. He’s gone.’

Her fingers move to her ear, twisting one of the pretty diamond studs. ‘Look, my house is a shit-tip, so don’t come in, but let’s go for a walk.’

‘What about your work?’ I say, sniffing.

‘It can wait.’ She picks up her keys from the shelf above the radiator, pulls the scarf from her head, letting her hair fall, then closes the door behind her.

NICK

July 2000

‘DO YOU WANT A GAME?’ NICK ASKS AS ALEX SAUNTERS into the barn.

He carries on batting the table tennis ball against the raised end of the table. Alex wanders past him and picks up a child’s cricket bat he finds leaning against the wall.

‘Alex,’ Nick repeats. ‘Do you want to play table tennis?’

Alex doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at him; in fact he hums to himself, like he’s the only person in the room. Then he turns round and walks out. Nick smashes the ball one more time, then lets it bounce past him and get lost amongst the bikes and sleds, croquet mallets and other garden paraphernalia that the Moodys store in here. He looks at the door, baffled, then goes after Alex. Outside the kids are setting up a game of rounders. He joins them. Taisie doesn’t look at him, none of them do. There’s an odd taste in the atmosphere. He’s beginning to see a pattern here.

‘Me and Alex will be captains,’ Taisie says. ‘I pick Pansy.’

‘Freya.’

‘Rory.’

‘Taisie! I wanted to be on your team,’ Izzy protests.

‘Well you can’t. You’re on Alex’s team.’

‘Anyone want an uneven number?’ Nick says, smiling from one to the other. No one catches his eye.

‘Right,’ Taisie says. ‘Heads we bat first.’