So I told him, look, I’m here for you. I’m willing to work on this. I want this family to work. Our sponsors said they were behind us one-hundred-and-ten percent. The amazing people at Poshnet even arranged for Kyle to have therapy for his sex addiction and that’s why you haven’t seen him so much in the last few vlogs, he’s been working on himself.

Seriously, peeps, I love Kyle so, so much. It’s been super hard recently, because it’s not easy to get the trust back, is it? But we’ve both been putting in the work to repair our marriage, and I just wanted to share where we are on our journey with you, because I know lots of you have been in my shoes and I’m just humbled by all the messages of support you’ve been sending.

So I thought, why not use our trauma to help people? I mean, if you guys can learn from our experience, it’ll have been worth it, you know?

Kyle and me are going to be doing a special live show with Kyle’s therapist, Jana, and I know it’s going to be really deep and authentic and a really private moment, so I hope you’ll all be able to join us. I’ll pop a link in the description bar below.

I still believe so, so much in marriage, love, and rebuilding. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is you’ve sometimes got to go back and deal with really uncomfortable situations and be able to process them so you can heal.

Because otherwise the past catches up with you, doesn’t it?

chapter 21

millie

Tom’s changed the password on his phone.

It’s been set to Meddie’s birthday for as long as I can remember: 010409. I tap the six digits into the screen again, one ear cocked to the sound of Tom in the shower, but the phone stays resolutely locked.

There’s only one reason a man suddenly changes his password.

He hasn’t been himself for weeks now. It’s not just the time he’s spending working out or the new clothes in his wardrobe – he seems to have lost his spark. Tom’s always been the upbeat, positive one: he believes in the fundamental goodness in human nature, while I lean towards a Hobbesian vision of life as nasty, brutish and short. But recently he’s been moping around the house, a heavy black cloud almost visibly hovering over him. He’s short with me, grumpy with the kids. And things have definitely tailed off in the bedroom: it’s been weeks.

There’s something going on with him and Harper Conway, I’m sure of it. Maybe not an affair, not yet. But something.