chapter 14

tom

Harper Conway reminds me of my wife. At first glance, they’ve got nothing in common: Millie with her classic, pale, unvarnished beauty, and then Harper, all thick make-up and Scouse brows and fake orange tan, and that poker-straight Kardashian black hair almost to her bottom. One a brilliant doctor, the other a vlogger who makes a living out of videoing herself … living.

But scratch the surface, and things change. Harper’s not the airhead she appears: underneath that dim-bulb media persona she’s smart and clued-in. Maybe not as ferociously clever as Millie is – we can’t all be world-class heart surgeons. But she’s streetwise and savvy: she knows how many beans make five. You don’t get one-point-nine million Instagram followers and sponsorship deals worth tens of thousands by actually being an airhead, even if that’s the part you’re playing. It’s just a pity she has to dumb herself down to be successful. I get it: it’s all about image these days. Anyone tuning in to a reality show knows reality is the last thing they’re going to get. And you’re never going to go broke underestimating the intelligence of your audience. Still. It’s a shame. In another life she could’ve given Emily Maitlis a run for her money.

She’s funny, too. Doesn’t take herself too seriously. What she’s doing with that dimwit of a husband is beyond me. I don’t think he said ten words to anyone all night at the gala last week. But Harper’s got a spark to her – a whiff of mischief.

OK, I admit it: I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

Don’t get me wrong – I’d never cheat on Millie. She’s the love of my life. And I have a keen urge to hang onto my balls. But just because you’re on a diet it doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu.

I enjoyed myself at that gala a lot more than I expected. Harper was bloody entertaining company, actually, even if she was a bit wasted by the end. To be honest, I feel a bit guilty about that: I was the one topping up her glass most of the night, so it’s my fault. She’d clearly pre-gamed before she got to the event out of nerves. And I shouldn’t have teased her about her connection to the hospital just to amuse Millie. Obviously the girl was there for a bit of social climbing, but so what? Isn’t that what we all do? Calling it networking doesn’t make the rest of us a cut above.