January races on and we meet regularly at the Moss House. We are both naked more often now, and giving and receiving pleasure as if we are a married couple. Will she commit to me? She still will not tell me what her mind is. She tells me she is too worried about Mrs Priestley. She changes the subject to her friend Mrs Ainsworth who will be coming to visit shortly and how we shall show her the sights of Halifax. I tell her it will be a quick trip, but she does not laugh. She promises a decision by the end of January, assuming my offer is still on the table. I do nothing to correct her.

This Ainsworths’ visit in January that she talks of may do her good. Mrs Ainsworth seems to be a close friend and Miss Walker tells me she’ll ask her advice about my offer. They have known each other since they were children. I suggest she could rent one of her properties to them – she would have an income from it and gain friends nearby. She likes the idea at first, but it appears she is more friends with the wife than the husband, and she then seems to change her mind and conclude that a visit will suffice. I hope Mrs Ainsworth may help Miss Walker decide to move in with me.

I have booked for us to visit Doctor Belcome in York soon and we shall see what he can advise about her back. She moans all the time about it and yet seems quite happy to just sit and not lift a thing to exercise it. I rub it for her gently and it feels as good a back as any other I have felt. She seems so fragile; I hope Doctor Belcome can help me fix her, make her strong.

Miss Walker

My nerves remain on edge over Mrs Priestley, what gossip may spread, the Ainsworths visiting, giving Miss Lister a decision and now having to see a doctor. What on Earth shall I tell him? I surely cannot be honest with him… or perhaps he knows. Perhaps that’s why Miss Lister wants to make such a trip to see him. Perhaps he is the only one in the world to whom I can talk freely. Perhaps he can give me some medicine to cure me of it. Cure me of these feelings. Quieten my mind.