Her hands shoved into her jacket pocket, she retraced her steps to West Hampstead train station and caught the next available train back to St Pancras International. Instead of changing platforms to catch the train to Gravesend she exited the station and crossed the busy road, joining the crowd that weaved in and out of Kings Cross station. It was one of her favourite places, always bustling, always bright and it was comforting to blend in with the hordes of people who travelled through. As she walked, her thoughts tumbled in a crazy tangle. Nothing made sense. She needed to talk it over with someone who had a cool head in a crisis. Rivka. The choice was automatic as it always was.

It was almost midday. The clinic where Rivka worked was shut for lunch for an hour at twelve thirty, if she hurried, Jodie might be able to grab her for a chat. Talking about everything might make things clearer in her head. Her thoughts switched to Flynn. Maybe someday, he would be her first choice but it was too soon in their relationship. So far, their conversations had been mostly superficial, touching on what they liked to do, eat and drink, not on who they were, certainly not on who they’d been in the past.

It wasn’t until she was on the Piccadilly Line that she realised that she was still searching every man’s face for a resemblance to Victor Hill. He knew where she lived, and where she worked. What else did he know about her? He could be any of the men who was strolling by. Her memories of him were distorted not simply by time but by the childish infatuation that had made him appear like a god. Any ordinary-looking man of a certain age could be him.

The thought made her tense and she anxiously looked around the carriage, relieved when minutes later the train reached its first stop, her destination, Holloway Road station. It was only a five-minute walk from there to the private clinic.

A receptionist Jodie knew to see, greeted her with a friendly nod. ‘Hi Jodie, is Rivka expecting you?’

‘No, but I was hoping to catch her for a chat.’

Some of the anxiety and stress of the morning must have shown on Jodie’s face and the receptionist’s smile was replaced by a look of concern. ‘You look like you’ve had a bad morning, take a seat, I’ll see if I can find her for you.’

Jodie wasn’t waiting long, her friend bursting through to reception with a grin on her face and words of greeting on her lips. ‘You should have rung, we could have gone out somewhere.’ She took the seat beside Jodie. ‘You look so sad, what’s happened?’

‘Not sad, at least not really. More downright mad.’ Jodie filled her in on the morning’s meeting.