Back The Last Chairlift
Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. ACT I EARLY SIGNS
  6. 1. AN UNMADE MOVIE
  7. 2. FIRST LOVE
  8. 3. A FIRST-NAME BASIS
  9. 4. DETERMINED NOT TO LEARN
  10. 5. BUT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN ASPEN?
  11. 6. LITTLE RAY
  12. 7. ALL ABOUT SEX
  13. 8. HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?
  14. 9. MOVIES, GIRLFRIENDS, FOREIGNNESS, OUTLIERS
  15. 10. NOT TARZAN
  16. 11. SMALLNESS AS A BURDEN
  17. 12. INTENDED FOR LITTLE RAY AND ME
  18. 13. THE SNOWSHOER KISS
  19. 14. A JUDGMENT CALL
  20. 15. SEEING THINGS
  21. 16. WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT
  22. 17. SON OF THE BRIDE
  23. 18. WHAT THE STONE SPARROWS SAW
  24. ACT II THE HONEYMOON ON THE CLIFF
  25. 19. “I SAW ME IN YOUR EYES”
  26. 20. A LITTLE BEHIND GIRLS HER AGE, SOCIALLY; DEFINITELY AHEAD OF; DEFINITELY BEHIND
  27. 21. IN CONTROL
  28. 22. MY SECOND-MOST UNMARRIAGEABLE GIRLFRIEND
  29. 23. “ALMOST PERFECT” OR “NO STRINGS ATTACHED”
  30. 24. MELANCHOLIC ENOUGH
  31. 25. THE “POLICE REPORT”
  32. 26. THE GETAWAY DRIVER
  33. 27. SEXUAL POLITICS, A FIRE, JEALOUSY
  34. 28. STILL GROWING
  35. 29. THE GOOD SHEPHERD
  36. ACT III RULES FOR GHOSTS
  37. 30. THE WOMAN WITH THE BABY CARRIAGE
  38. 31. WHERE HAVE THE BANANAS GONE?
  39. 32. A TURN IN THE ROAD
  40. 33. JUST SMALL ENOUGH
  41. 34. OUR MARINE
  42. 35. AT THE WHALE SHIP
  43. 36. BOOK SIGNINGS
  44. 37. THINGS TO DO WITH A PENIS
  45. 38. PLAGUE SONG
  46. 39. WENGEN
  47. 40. THE NIGHT OF THE SANTAS
  48. 41. STARTING SOMETHING
  49. 42. A NORMAL LIFE
  50. 43. A BOHEMIAN LIFESTYLE
  51. 44. MEN WHO SHOULD BE CASTRATED
  52. 45. LOGE PEAK
  53. 46. “FOUND YOU!”
  54. 47. WRITTEN IN THE SNOW
  55. 48. FIVE YEARS, FOUR MOVIES
  56. 49. NOT A GHOST
  57. 50. EM AS ISHMAEL
  58. 51. “O CANADA”
  59. 52. THE LESBIANS’ CHILDREN
  60. 53. THE VOICE ON THE SUBWAY; THE SILENCE IN THE ROCK GARDEN
  61. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  62. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  63. ALSO BY JOHN IRVING

“Stop licking him, Lucy—you don’t even know him!” the colonel said. This time, he spoke sharply.

“You see? That’s what she does—she don’t know what she means, she don’t know she’s bein’ encouragin’,” Fernando said.

“You can’t lick men and not encourage them, Lucy,” Colonel Zimmermann advised her, more gently.

“It’s disgusting, Lucy,” Elmira added.

“She don’t mean nothin’ by it,” Fernando tried to assure us. Lucy smiled. Nothing was meant by her smile, I was thinking, but her lips were parted. I could see the gaps where her teeth had been.

“He’s publishing a first novel,” the professor was saying to himself; he was shuffling away from us, leaving the alley. Lucy’s licking was of no more concern to him than the humping.

“It’s a historical novel—I don’t think anyone will read it. It was just a small advance!” I called after the old academic, but he’d already reached the sidewalk.

“The professor has written some books, but I don’t believe he’s been published,” the colonel confided to me quietly. It would have been best, I imagined, if the professor had walked into the traffic on Park Avenue, where he could have been instantly killed by a car, but he turned south on the sidewalk, where he was lost from our sight.

A strained silence and a loss of concentration seemed to unhinge the soup line. We could all hear what Talib whispered to Ayla, and what she whispered (more loudly) back to him.

“It wasn’t Reggie, was it?” Talib had whispered.

“What must you think of me?” Ayla whispered, harshly. “I would sooner have sex with a dog than with Reggie!”

“Let it go, Talib, let it go,” Colonel Zimmermann said, so softly he was almost whispering.

“There’s lots more soup,” Elmira said. Mary, Felix, Fernando, and Talib had the most soup. Even Ayla had a little, her morning sickness notwithstanding. Mr. Barlow and I were disinclined to return to the gathering in the Zimmermanns’ upstairs apartment; we felt more at home in the alley with the castoffs Zim had helped.

Talib was the first to pay his respects to Zim, specifically; he spoke directly to Colonel Zimmermann as we were leaving the alley. “I know I speak for all of us—Colonel, sir—when I say how sorry we were to hear about your Matthew.”

“Thank you, Talib,” the colonel said. He would not let anyone carry the soup pot for him; he would not let Elmira persuade him to take the service elevator, either.

“They don’t like us to carry food through the lobby, Colonel—not even you,” Elmira reminded him.

“Then we’ll forgive them for not liking us when we do it,” the colonel told her.

We were a strange assortment of vagabonds—we looked decidedly out of place on Park Avenue. Not a single taxi, whizzing by, slowed down to take an inquiring look at us. Not even Colonel Zimmermann—elegantly dressed in funereal attire, and with half a chest of medals—caught the cabbies’ eyes. To the taxi drivers, the colonel was just a crazy old man carrying a soup pot.