Back The Last Chairlift
Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. ACT I EARLY SIGNS
  6. 1. AN UNMADE MOVIE
  7. 2. FIRST LOVE
  8. 3. A FIRST-NAME BASIS
  9. 4. DETERMINED NOT TO LEARN
  10. 5. BUT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN ASPEN?
  11. 6. LITTLE RAY
  12. 7. ALL ABOUT SEX
  13. 8. HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?
  14. 9. MOVIES, GIRLFRIENDS, FOREIGNNESS, OUTLIERS
  15. 10. NOT TARZAN
  16. 11. SMALLNESS AS A BURDEN
  17. 12. INTENDED FOR LITTLE RAY AND ME
  18. 13. THE SNOWSHOER KISS
  19. 14. A JUDGMENT CALL
  20. 15. SEEING THINGS
  21. 16. WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT
  22. 17. SON OF THE BRIDE
  23. 18. WHAT THE STONE SPARROWS SAW
  24. ACT II THE HONEYMOON ON THE CLIFF
  25. 19. “I SAW ME IN YOUR EYES”
  26. 20. A LITTLE BEHIND GIRLS HER AGE, SOCIALLY; DEFINITELY AHEAD OF; DEFINITELY BEHIND
  27. 21. IN CONTROL
  28. 22. MY SECOND-MOST UNMARRIAGEABLE GIRLFRIEND
  29. 23. “ALMOST PERFECT” OR “NO STRINGS ATTACHED”
  30. 24. MELANCHOLIC ENOUGH
  31. 25. THE “POLICE REPORT”
  32. 26. THE GETAWAY DRIVER
  33. 27. SEXUAL POLITICS, A FIRE, JEALOUSY
  34. 28. STILL GROWING
  35. 29. THE GOOD SHEPHERD
  36. ACT III RULES FOR GHOSTS
  37. 30. THE WOMAN WITH THE BABY CARRIAGE
  38. 31. WHERE HAVE THE BANANAS GONE?
  39. 32. A TURN IN THE ROAD
  40. 33. JUST SMALL ENOUGH
  41. 34. OUR MARINE
  42. 35. AT THE WHALE SHIP
  43. 36. BOOK SIGNINGS
  44. 37. THINGS TO DO WITH A PENIS
  45. 38. PLAGUE SONG
  46. 39. WENGEN
  47. 40. THE NIGHT OF THE SANTAS
  48. 41. STARTING SOMETHING
  49. 42. A NORMAL LIFE
  50. 43. A BOHEMIAN LIFESTYLE
  51. 44. MEN WHO SHOULD BE CASTRATED
  52. 45. LOGE PEAK
  53. 46. “FOUND YOU!”
  54. 47. WRITTEN IN THE SNOW
  55. 48. FIVE YEARS, FOUR MOVIES
  56. 49. NOT A GHOST
  57. 50. EM AS ISHMAEL
  58. 51. “O CANADA”
  59. 52. THE LESBIANS’ CHILDREN
  60. 53. THE VOICE ON THE SUBWAY; THE SILENCE IN THE ROCK GARDEN
  61. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  62. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  63. ALSO BY JOHN IRVING

But Granddaddy’s ghost had vanished; he’d heard Dottie calling from the bottom of the attic stairs. Not even death had saved the infant emeritus from his fear of Dottie and her Seeing Eye dog harness.

“You’re going to need your toolbox!” I was calling to Dottie. I could hear her clomping up the attic stairs.

“I could tell by all the caterwaulin’—I know a toolbox situation when I hear one, Adam,” Dottie was saying.

“Dottie will help you,” I said to Sally. “Dottie isn’t a ghost.” The way she was wedged in the shower made me reconsider Sally’s agility.

“You’ve seen too much of me, Adam,” Sally moaned. “When you think of me, you’ll remember me this way,” she added. I knew it was true; I couldn’t refute it, then or now.

“Holy shit,” Dottie said, when she saw what the toolbox situation entailed. “You get out of here, Adam—go talk to your grandmother, or somethin’,” Dottie told me. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart,” Dottie said to Sally. “This stupid shower wasn’t built for a full-size person, but there ain’t a door I can’t get off,” Dottie said. I put on my clothes and left the two of them, with Dottie at work removing the hinges to the shower door.

“My nipple got burned by the hot water—just one of them,” I could hear Sally telling Dottie, as I went down the attic stairs.

“Don’t you worry, sweetheart,” I heard Dottie say. “I know what works for a scalded nipple—I just gotta get this fuckin’ door off first.”

I helped my grandmother in the kitchen and the dining room while Dottie was attending to Sally. I was surprised how relieved Nana was to hear what had happened to poor Sally. I felt awful about Sally’s humiliation in the shower, and her scalded nipple. Not knowing, at the time, about Nana’s conversation with Dottie, I was unaware that my grandmother had imagined far worse. Now, in retrospect, I’m not at all sure that Sally’s loss of her virginity would have been worse.

“I saw me in your eyes—what you were thinking,” was all Sally would say to me about it, ever. I knew, even before Dottie brought her downstairs to the dining room, that Sally and I were finished. Her blouse was a little too sheer to wear without a bra, but Sally sat through dinner while we listened to her underwear in the dryer. You couldn’t quite see her nipples through her blouse, but the Band-Aid covering the scalded nipple was very clear. Dottie wouldn’t tell me what Down East remedy for relief she’d put on the nipple, or on the Band-Aid. “Just a dab of somethin’,” was all Dottie would say. For a big girl, poor Sally didn’t eat much of Nana’s mystery casserole while we listened, interminably, to the clicking sound made by Sally’s bra in the dryer.

Mr. Barlow suggested I write about it. “Your first girlfriend, your first heartbreak, and hers—that’s a short story, Adam,” the little English teacher told me.