‘You think she’s never kept secrets from you?’

‘No. Not like this.’

‘Really?’ She took his hands between hers. ‘This is not your fault, Sean.’

‘That’s not strictly true, is it?’

‘We’re human, you and me. Just like they are, just like everyone else. Humans make mistakes. We just have to decide how we’re going to deal with this one.’

‘You think this is a mistake? What we’re doing?’

She smiled up at him.

‘This? No.’

‘I think we should come clean. Work out a way forward that involves the least pain for everyone involved.’

‘We’ve talked about this already. This is the best way.’

‘Keeping her in the dark like this,’ he protested, shaking his head. ‘It’s not fair. It’s not right.’

‘Fair? Who said life was fair?’

‘We can’t keep it secret for ever.’

‘Why not? Why shouldn’t we?’

‘Because sooner or later she’s going to find out. Someone’s going to find out, and when that happens it will only be a matter of time.’

‘She can’t ever find out. And she won’t if we’re careful.’

‘I’ve told you, I’m no good at lying. Especially not to her.’

‘It’s all about practice, Sean.’ She smiled. ‘The more you do it, the better you’ll get.’

‘I don’t know about that.’

‘Why should we tell her? It just complicates everything. We should carry on how we are. We’re fine, it’s all good.’

‘Carry on for how long, though? Until she works it out for herself?’

‘There’s no reason why she should.’

‘I’m just not sure how long I can keep going on as if everything’s normal. I’ve never done this before.’

‘I don’t exactly make a habit of it, either.’

‘Glad to hear it.’

She moved closer, placing a hand on his chest, feeling the muscle hard and flat under her fingertips.

‘Let’s just keep on doing what we’re doing,’ she said. ‘There’s too much at stake to do anything else. Surely you must see that, Sean?’

‘I do,’ he said quietly. ‘Absolutely.’

Four months earlier

Four months earlier

It was stupid, really. She knew it was stupid. It wasn’t how things worked.

But she couldn’t stop thinking it a hundred times a day. Couldn’t stop imagining it when she was with him, visualising it when they were together and he had his arm around her and pulled her into him. When he held her close against his chest. When he kissed her and it felt like a crackle of electricity going up and down her spine.