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Back The Empress Save as PDF
Chapters (68)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1853
  4. PART I
  5. ONE
  6. TWO
  7. THREE
  8. FOUR
  9. FIVE
  10. SIX
  11. SEVEN
  12. EIGHT
  13. NINE
  14. TEN
  15. ELEVEN
  16. TWELVE
  17. THIRTEEN
  18. FOURTEEN
  19. FIFTEEN
  20. SIXTEEN
  21. SEVENTEEN
  22. EIGHTEEN
  23. NINETEEN
  24. TWENTY
  25. TWENTY-ONE
  26. TWENTY-TWO
  27. TWENTY-THREE
  28. TWENTY-FOUR
  29. TWENTY-FIVE
  30. TWENTY-SIX
  31. TWENTY-SEVEN
  32. TWENTY-EIGHT
  33. TWENTY-NINE
  34. THIRTY
  35. THIRTY-ONE
  36. THIRTY-TWO
  37. THIRTY-THREE
  38. THIRTY-FOUR
  39. THIRTY-FIVE
  40. THIRTY-SIX
  41. 1854
  42. PART II
  43. THIRTY-SEVEN
  44. THIRTY-EIGHT
  45. THIRTY-NINE
  46. FORTY
  47. FORTY-ONE
  48. FORTY-TWO
  49. FORTY-THREE
  50. FORTY-FOUR
  51. FORTY-FIVE
  52. FORTY-SIX
  53. FORTY-SEVEN
  54. FORTY-EIGHT
  55. FORTY-NINE
  56. FIFTY
  57. FIFTY-ONE
  58. FIFTY-TWO
  59. FIFTY-THREE
  60. FIFTY-FOUR
  61. FIFTY-FIVE
  62. FIFTY-SIX
  63. FIFTY-SEVEN
  64. FIFTY-EIGHT
  65. FIFTY-NINE
  66. SIXTY
  67. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  68. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

When Helene said nothing, Elisabeth turned her attention back to Mother. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either! And that’s exactly how it should be!”

Elisabeth took another slow breath and tried to share her truth again. “I want to make my own decisions. I want to live a full life. What’s so bad about that?”

“What do you want to do with your life—write poetry?”

“Why not?” Why shouldn’t she have her poetry, her dreams? It was better than Mother drinking her life away, Father wasting his on meaningless affairs.

Mother shook her head. “You don’t know what the world out there is like.”

“I know there’s something waiting for me,” Elisabeth whispered, almost to herself.

Mother paused, narrowed her eyes.

“Oh, my darling girl …” Her words a knife aimed at Elisabeth’s heart. “Believe me, there is absolutely nothing—and no one—waiting for you.”

Cold despair wrapped itself around her. They’d had similar conversations before, but something in Mother’s voice was different now. More certain, more disdainful. For the first time in her life, Elisabeth wondered if her mother might be right—if she was fighting, screaming, clawing at life for no reason at all. If there was nothing out there for her but the loss of a horse, a sister, hope.

But no. She refused to give up hope.

“You can’t force me.” Her words echoed in the silence. “I won’t marry these men.”

Mother came toward her, her face serious and voice cold. “You know, there are establishments for young women who have lost their minds.”

Elisabeth’s stomach tightened. Mother had threatened her with convents before, but never an asylum—and she knew why. She could see the letter sitting open on the desk, where her mother had clearly been rereading it. The letter that had come only a couple of months before. The arrangements for Helene to meet—and become engaged to—the emperor.

Now Elisabeth realized what that letter meant for her. Her daydreams had no place at court, in the home of the future empress. Mother would send her away if she didn’t force herself into the shape of the imperial family.

Helene took a step forward, then broke her silence. “Not an asylum, Mother. You’re going too far.”

Néné. The relief of Helene coming to her defense didn’t untangle the knots in her throat or stomach, but Elisabeth was grateful. Néné still cared.

“Enough!” Mother snapped. “Helene has a magnificent future ahead of her. You won’t ruin that for us, Sisi. Do you understand?”

Elisabeth reached a hand out toward her mother. “Please. I’m not insane.”

It hurt when Mother ripped her hand away, hurt in all the places where the old wounds kept trying and failing to heal. “Then prove it to me.”

SIX

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SISI,” HELENE WHISPERED, TAPPING LIGHTLY ON HER sister’s bedroom door.

Silence.