Chapters (68)
- Cover
- Dedication
- 1853
- PART I
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- 1854
- PART II
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Helene had been reveling in her sister’s desperation for months, soaking it in like a sponge whenever she could see the hurt in Sisi’s eyes, the way her silences landed like blows. But now, suddenly, it brought her no joy. Only the guilt that had been lapping gently at her all this time. Only a sense that she should be protecting her sister and wasn’t.
Still, Helene wasn’t ready to speak. Wasn’t ready to give in to a momentary change in feeling. She twirled the olive in her glass, ate it.
“How many times do I have to apologize? I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You know I’m sorry!”
“You’re drunk.” Helene kept her voice even.
“I know.”
“That’s not how a future empress behaves.” Her silence had been a dam, and now it was open—all her uncharitable thoughts spilling out.
“Helene …” Sisi’s voice was soft, fragile, a snowflake melting at the slightest touch. “It just … it hasn’t been an easy day.”
“I’m sorry you thought it would be easier.”
There was a malicious kind of justice in it, watching all of Sisi’s chickens come home to roost. But who had Helene become? A woman stirring her martini and smiling at a sister destroyed and hopeless? The malice and guilt wrestled for her soul.
Sisi turned to leave, but Helene had one more jab for her. One more cruelty broken free from the dam of her feelings. One more victory for her malice. “You always do that, you know, when things get hard, you run away. It’s time to grow up, Sisi.”
Sisi’s own hurt spilled over, aiming Helene’s cruelty back at her. “You know who you’ve become?”
She paused.
“Our mother.”
Helene watched as her sister disappeared around the archway, down the hall. Was it true? Had she become as small and cruel and petty as their mother? Was Helene training herself to leave her softest feelings behind and aim all of her hardest ones at the people around her, the people she was supposed to love?
Then Maxi was back again. His breath sweet with grapes and liquor, tickling her ear. “I give their puppy love three months. What do you say?”
And there was the familiar anger. But this time, to Helene’s surprise, it wasn’t pointed at Sisi. It rose up, hot and powerful and familiar in her chest, aimed at Maxi. At Franz. At Mother. At the court. All this time, she’d been punishing Sisi and herself—but there were so many other places that anger should live.