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Chapters (63)
  1. THE AMERICANA PLAYBOOK
  2. Dear Reader
  3. The Troubled Teen Industry
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. New England Rebels
  7. Day 44
  8. Chapter 1
  9. Chapter 2
  10. Chapter 3
  11. Chapter 4
  12. Day 55
  13. Chapter 5
  14. TWO MONTHS LATER
  15. Chapter 6
  16. Chapter 7
  17. Chapter 8
  18. Day 68
  19. Chapter 9
  20. Chapter 10
  21. Chapter 11
  22. Chapter 12
  23. Day 78
  24. Chapter 13
  25. Chapter 14
  26. Chapter 15
  27. Chapter 16
  28. Chapter 17
  29. Day 84
  30. Chapter 18
  31. Chapter 19
  32. Chapter 20
  33. Day 91
  34. Chapter 21
  35. Chapter 22
  36. Day 100
  37. Chapter 23
  38. Chapter 24
  39. Chapter 25
  40. Chapter 26
  41. Day 113
  42. Chapter 27
  43. Chapter 28
  44. Chapter 29
  45. Chapter 30
  46. Day 128
  47. Chapter 31
  48. Chapter 32
  49. Chapter 33
  50. Day 147
  51. Chapter 34
  52. Chapter 35
  53. Chapter 36
  54. Chapter 37
  55. Chapter 38
  56. Chapter 39
  57. Chapter 40
  58. Epilogue
  59. ONE MONTH LATER
  60. FIVE YEARS LATER
  61. Acknowledgments
  62. Also by Cathryn Carter
  63. About the Author

I’d make a face if I wasn’t so distracted by the shape of his semi-flexed bicep.

Stop. Gawking.

“I cheated on you today,” I blurt out. I press my lips together because I’m about to burst out into uncomfortable, awkward laughter like a teenager. But when Fitz and I were teenagers, I never acted like this. Then again, Fitz never looked like this. Or maybe I just never chose to see him this way.

“Oh.” Fitz folds his arms across his chest. The change in stance makes him seem even bigger, bordering on intimidating in the best kind of way. He’s looming awfully close to the red line. “Did you?”

I nod. “Tall, dark, vegetarian,” I say before adding through my grin, “and hung like a horse.”

Fitz tips his head, his combed, wet hair falling to the side. The movement takes with it his confused grin, stretching it on an angle. It must be the high of today—I find it oddly adorable.

“My boyfriend’s name is Bernard.”

“Bernard?”

“He’s Dutch.”

Fitz’s eyes widen dramatically. “Hung like a horse and Dutch. That’s a lot for me to compete against. You couldn’t have gone just a small step up? Did you really need to climb the full ladder?”

I laugh, knowing he’s being a good sport. “He’s a horse, Fitz. A Dutch Warmblood. God, he’s gorgeous. You couldn’t possibly believe I’d cheat on you even fictionally. Who would that be with anyway?”

Fitz shrugs. “I don’t know. Could’ve been a teacher.”

“A teacher?”

“You know.” Fitz waves his hand. “Like a horse teacher.”

I correct him, “A trainer. But rest assured. Just a horse.”

“I figured. The whole big and tall and vegetarian thing kind of made sense when you came home smelling like manure. And”—Fitz approaches lifting a hand to my hair—“the hay here was a good giveaway.”

The playful grin on Fitz’s face, combined with the scent of soap on his bare skin, makes me suddenly super self-conscious of my stench.

“I could use a shower,” I say, stepping around him but then halt in place. The gratitude I have can’t wait for clean skin or hair. So hay and all, I whip around, press up on my toes, and hug him. “I know I smell awful. But thank you. Thank you for this. For everything.”

Smiling against his skin, I squeeze my arms tighter around his neck before I drop back down to flat feet and begin heading to my room. I’m almost to the door when Fitz calls my name, and I turn around.

“You don’t need to thank me. Just do me a favor.”