Dear Fitzy,

Today I’ve been gone 84 days.

Most of them have been so bad I wonder if I’m living in a nightmare.

Mr. Foller once told me that I have a false perception of reality after I mentioned that I’m not loved by anyone anymore with Honey gone, especially Mom and Dad. “You’re over-exaggerating,” he said. “You’re making it seem that way.”

He basically called me a liar.

But I know that’s not true. Because all of these things I’m about to tell you happened to Sarah too. One day, she’ll tell her own story, to you, to her family, to the world. Here is part of mine. These are the things that have been done to me since day 1:

Kidnapping

Strip-searching, supervised showers

Slapped in face

Hands tied behind my back

No medical care, denied food

Locked in dark room for first three days

Not allowed to shower after I peed my pants

Each thing has cut away from me. Each thing is a scar I’ll always have.

I’ve lost skin. I’ve lost my dignity. They think they broke me, Fitz. Sometimes, I think it too. I’m not sure I’ll ever recover the missing pieces. I wonder if the breaking began before here. If it did, I hope a missing piece is with you.

Rebels Only.

Parker

Chapter 18

“You’re going to have to tell me what I’m supposed to do exactly.”

“What makes you think I have any idea? We’re just here to smile and look like we buy her bullshit. Oh. And that we’re in love,” Parker adds, looking up at me.

I gnaw on the inside of my bottom lip, counting six cameras beaming at his from the back of the auditorium. I lift my arm and snake it around Parker’s waist.

“What are you doing?”

Her voice sounds surprised, but her body feels easily relaxed.

I’m about to tell her I’m doing as I should—looking in love—but stop. That’s because entranced by the smell of Parker’s hair.

“You didn’t buy new shampoo yet?” I ask.

She freezes, as if she’s been caught red-handed, and stumbles over her words, embarrassed I’ve caught her still using my shampoo. “I keep forgetting. Yours smells nice though.”

I hope at least someone in this room has a camera on us right now. Because the smile on my face knowing that part of her likes smelling like me? It definitely does the job. It’s award winning.

I have to bite my tongue to avoid teasing her because the charter school’s principal has just introduced Candice, who is here to talk to a room full of teachers and parents.

“Isn’t it weird she’s campaigning without your dad?” I eye Massachusetts’s governor, watching on as Candice takes the podium and begin to speak.