“I don’t need you to rescue me, Fitz. That’s not what this is about. I just wanted to see you, that’s all. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I’m alright,” she adds.

Alright doesn’t cut it. Not for me when it comes to her.

“If you need something,” I repeat with a firmer voice before I soften it. “I’d never say no. Not for anything. Even after all this time. Do you understand?”

The hollowness in Parker’s eyes gives me the chills.

“Parker—"

“I’m okay,” she reiterates, but god damn, my heart doesn’t believe it.

“You’re done for the night?” I ask.

Parker nods. “I’ve been on since this afternoon. I’m wiped.”

“Can I take you home? I can have a car outside in five minutes. I’ll ride with you.”

“I have a car,” Parker says.

“I want to make sure you get home okay.”

“You don’t have to do that, Fitz,” Parker whispers, and it crushes me a little bit.

I know I don’t but I curse under my breath anyway. Parker will never understand how hard it is to need to do something while pretending it’s just something you want instead.

She begins kicking at something invisible at her feet. She’s always done that when she doesn’t want to talk. The painful difference is she never used to do it with me.

“I hope you don’t think I found you because I needed to ask for something. It’s just been a long time.” Parker looks up, and her eyes glisten with tears. “I really did just want to say congratulations.”

The talking in circles makes me angry, but part of me falls victim to the soft spot I’ll always hold for her. This doesn’t feel right. In my bones, I know it isn’t. “I don’t know if you’re okay.”

“Maybe you just don’t know me anymore, Fitz.”

It’s a cheap shot to slap me with my own words, but maybe she’s right. I’m holding onto the fact that Parker still loves a good hiding spot, even if that means climbing something she shouldn’t. Maybe her eyes still disappear when she loses control to a laugh. Maybe she’s still the only person in the world who likes yellow Starburst. The truth is, she could be none of those things—none of the parts I love about her—anymore.

All I do know is I’d do anything to find out.

“I’m supposed to leave tomorrow, but I can push it. Can I take you to lunch? Dinner? You know, so we can catch up without having to worry about how we get down after?” I try to laugh, but I’m met with no smile or happiness back.

She just looks so sad.