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Chapters (63)
  1. THE AMERICANA PLAYBOOK
  2. Dear Reader
  3. The Troubled Teen Industry
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. New England Rebels
  7. Day 44
  8. Chapter 1
  9. Chapter 2
  10. Chapter 3
  11. Chapter 4
  12. Day 55
  13. Chapter 5
  14. TWO MONTHS LATER
  15. Chapter 6
  16. Chapter 7
  17. Chapter 8
  18. Day 68
  19. Chapter 9
  20. Chapter 10
  21. Chapter 11
  22. Chapter 12
  23. Day 78
  24. Chapter 13
  25. Chapter 14
  26. Chapter 15
  27. Chapter 16
  28. Chapter 17
  29. Day 84
  30. Chapter 18
  31. Chapter 19
  32. Chapter 20
  33. Day 91
  34. Chapter 21
  35. Chapter 22
  36. Day 100
  37. Chapter 23
  38. Chapter 24
  39. Chapter 25
  40. Chapter 26
  41. Day 113
  42. Chapter 27
  43. Chapter 28
  44. Chapter 29
  45. Chapter 30
  46. Day 128
  47. Chapter 31
  48. Chapter 32
  49. Chapter 33
  50. Day 147
  51. Chapter 34
  52. Chapter 35
  53. Chapter 36
  54. Chapter 37
  55. Chapter 38
  56. Chapter 39
  57. Chapter 40
  58. Epilogue
  59. ONE MONTH LATER
  60. FIVE YEARS LATER
  61. Acknowledgments
  62. Also by Cathryn Carter
  63. About the Author

I press my lips together, watching as my dad sits at one of the barstools. “What do you want?”

“To drink? Diet soda for your father and tea for me,” Mom says. “Anything without caffeine. I hate being kept up all night.”

“Who was that friend of yours?” Dad asks as I fill the kettle, wondering if we have not just decaffeinated tea but arsenic as well.

“She’s my trainer,” I tell them. “I’m riding again.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Mom comments. “Do you have a competition coming up?”

I lower my head. “Does it make a difference?” I open the drawer where I keep the tea bags. “The caffeine?”

“Without it, I sleep like a baby.”

I bring the kettle to the stove and turn on a burner. “I’m not sure why I thought something else might keep you up all night.”

Mom takes a seat next to Dad. “What’s that?”

“What you did to me.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Where you sent me.”

“Here we go.” Mom lifts her blonde head to the ceiling.

“Here we go?” I ask, dumbfounded. “Do you know someone died at that place? When I was there. She died because no one would take her to an actual doctor?”

My mother folds her hands together and leans forward on the island. “Did you die, Parker?”

“Part of me did.” I give her the answer I should’ve given Madeline when she asked the same thing.

Dad sighs. “We put you there so you⁠—”

“Don’t feed me that bullshit. You put me there so you wouldn’t have to deal with me. You put me there because it didn’t—I didn’t—look good for Dad’s campaign. Just admit it!” I scream, reaching behind me and turning the burner off when the kettle begins to whistle. “Just admit it. I want you to say the words. I want you to say that your love for me—if you have any at all—is conditional on behaving in a way that looks good for you.”

Dad looks away, and Mom takes a deep breath. “In this family, Parker,” she says, “we all have jobs to do.”

“I was a kid. I was a kid who needed help. Not someone who needed to be locked away, to be tortured⁠—”

“Is that what the meeting with Congressman Holdings was about?”

I step back from the island, and Mom scoffs. “What? Do you think you can just alert your security detail that a congressman is coming to your apartment and we don’t find out about it? Honestly, Parker, I thought you were smarter than that.”

My mouth falls open slightly, but I’m not sure why I’m surprised. “You’re right. I should know better than to ever have come back around and think, to help you. After what you did to me⁠—”