Chapters (63)
- THE AMERICANA PLAYBOOK
- Dear Reader
- The Troubled Teen Industry
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- New England Rebels
- Day 44
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Day 55
- Chapter 5
- TWO MONTHS LATER
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Day 68
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Day 78
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- Day 84
- Chapter 18
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Day 91
- Chapter 21
- Chapter 22
- Day 100
- Chapter 23
- Chapter 24
- Chapter 25
- Chapter 26
- Day 113
- Chapter 27
- Chapter 28
- Chapter 29
- Chapter 30
- Day 128
- Chapter 31
- Chapter 32
- Chapter 33
- Day 147
- Chapter 34
- Chapter 35
- Chapter 36
- Chapter 37
- Chapter 38
- Chapter 39
- Chapter 40
- Epilogue
- ONE MONTH LATER
- FIVE YEARS LATER
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Cathryn Carter
- About the Author
I press my lips together, watching as my dad sits at one of the barstools. “What do you want?”
“To drink? Diet soda for your father and tea for me,” Mom says. “Anything without caffeine. I hate being kept up all night.”
“Who was that friend of yours?” Dad asks as I fill the kettle, wondering if we have not just decaffeinated tea but arsenic as well.
“She’s my trainer,” I tell them. “I’m riding again.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Mom comments. “Do you have a competition coming up?”
I lower my head. “Does it make a difference?” I open the drawer where I keep the tea bags. “The caffeine?”
“Without it, I sleep like a baby.”
I bring the kettle to the stove and turn on a burner. “I’m not sure why I thought something else might keep you up all night.”
Mom takes a seat next to Dad. “What’s that?”
“What you did to me.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Where you sent me.”
“Here we go.” Mom lifts her blonde head to the ceiling.
“Here we go?” I ask, dumbfounded. “Do you know someone died at that place? When I was there. She died because no one would take her to an actual doctor?”
My mother folds her hands together and leans forward on the island. “Did you die, Parker?”
“Part of me did.” I give her the answer I should’ve given Madeline when she asked the same thing.
Dad sighs. “We put you there so you—”
“Don’t feed me that bullshit. You put me there so you wouldn’t have to deal with me. You put me there because it didn’t—I didn’t—look good for Dad’s campaign. Just admit it!” I scream, reaching behind me and turning the burner off when the kettle begins to whistle. “Just admit it. I want you to say the words. I want you to say that your love for me—if you have any at all—is conditional on behaving in a way that looks good for you.”
Dad looks away, and Mom takes a deep breath. “In this family, Parker,” she says, “we all have jobs to do.”
“I was a kid. I was a kid who needed help. Not someone who needed to be locked away, to be tortured—”
“Is that what the meeting with Congressman Holdings was about?”
I step back from the island, and Mom scoffs. “What? Do you think you can just alert your security detail that a congressman is coming to your apartment and we don’t find out about it? Honestly, Parker, I thought you were smarter than that.”
My mouth falls open slightly, but I’m not sure why I’m surprised. “You’re right. I should know better than to ever have come back around and think, to help you. After what you did to me—”