I have to wonder how they got it in the first place, and how much of it was hardness developed out of fear—fear of getting cut, fear of being embarrassed, fear of their mistakes being used against them over and over again if they stuck around.

“Is that what they’re telling you, Captain? That they’ll abandon ship?”

“They don’t have to.” I toss the plastic bottle of Gatorade back and forth between my hands. My eyes shift to the calendar on Coach’s wall, and I recognize the days he’s circled. “If you want me to sit down for that Boston Journal profile the day after our preseason game, you’re going to apologize to Josh and the entire team.”

I’ve never seen Coach at a loss for words, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.

* * *

I bury my head into the pillow. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” Parker mumbles. “Don’t you have someone you can pay to do this? I don’t really know how to give a massage.” She shifts more. “God, are you always this tight?”

Turning my head, I rest my cheek against the pillow. “Not this early on in the season,” I huff out.

Parker stops her assault on my shoulders. “Has he always been that way?”

I lift her body with how heavy a sigh I let out. “I don’t really know.” Slowly I nudge her so she hovers over and I turn, motioning for her to sit and placing my hands on her thighs when she straddles my stomach. “I mean, what happened today… yeah, maybe he has.”

Parker raises an eyebrow. “What about during a game?”

“A game, sure.”

Her brown eyes widen. “What do you mean, sure?”

I run my hands from her knees upward and back down. “I mean, it’s football. What do you expect a coach to be? All lovey dovey?”

“No, I guess not lovey dovey,” Parker says. “But not whatever that was either. I mean, it shouldn’t happen to anyone. But to Josh? Come on. He’s like a big kid.”

Nodding, I pull my lip between my teeth.

“What is it?” Parker asks.

“What if I just didn’t want to see it?” I ask. “That side of Foller, I mean.”

Parker sighs. “I didn’t want to believe my parents could do what they did.” She reminds me. “And if I’m being honest, I doubt my blinders were ever as high as yours are.”

“Maybe mine were higher than I thought,” I admit.

“Were? They’re lower after what happened with Josh?”

I look at her. “No. They’re lower because of you.” I sigh, taking her hands. “It was Foller who told me to stay away from you in high school.” Parker freezes in my hold, and I fucking hate it. “I let you think it was my mom, but it was him. He was worried about my future.”