‘Okay, please don’t hesitate to get in touch if someone comes to mind. We will of course keep the inquiry active and I believe someone so bold as to do what he did in broad daylight, it’s only a matter of time before he attacks again. I will keep in touch.’

We said our goodbyes and I launched my foot at the chair opposite me, sending it skidding across the kitchen floor. What was the point? They couldn’t protect me. No one could. Even the police were counting on him doing it again. They were out of leads and I was on my own. Lack of resources, lack of enthusiasm; I could do a better job of finding him.

My skin tingled, and goosebumps appeared on my arms as the idea trickled through me. Could I find him? If I managed to, I could follow him, tell them where he lived. They’d have to arrest him. He’d be off the streets. But what if he saw me? My heart pounded at the thought. It was crazy. My palms began to sweat. You can do this. Fuck, yes, you can do this. You can get the bastard and make him pay for what he did. The voice in my head continued to campaign for me to take control. My father, who was the wisest man I’d ever known, had warned me when I was having trouble with friends at school that the only person you could rely on was yourself. He was right. The police were useless.

Riffling through my cupboard, I pulled out black clothes easily, it had always been my colour of choice. I tied my hair into a bun and tucked it under a baseball cap. My reflection resembled that of a pre-pubescent boy. It wasn’t the look I was going for, but if it disguised who I was, I was happy. I just wanted to blend into the background, to watch and wait. He’d have to show up eventually and then I’d have him.

Walking back to where it happened in the late afternoon drizzle brought me back to reality. What was I thinking? The idea was stupid. Someone would end up getting hurt. I could get hurt again. I might not walk away this time. What was I, a vigilante? No, it was reconnaissance, there would be no interaction at all.

As I reached the entrance to the park, the one I’d used that morning, I paused to read the yellow police incident sign. There must be one at both entrances. The date and the time of the worst moment of my life recorded for everyone to see. It was surreal.