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Back Stalker Save as PDF
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. 39
  42. 40
  43. 41
  44. 42
  45. 43
  46. 44
  47. 45
  48. 46
  49. 47
  50. 48
  51. 49
  52. 50
  53. 51
  54. 52
  55. 53
  56. 54
  57. 55
  58. 56
  59. 57
  60. 58
  61. 59
  62. EPILOGUE
  63. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  64. MORE FROM GEMMA ROGERS
  65. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  66. ABOUT BOLDWOOD BOOKS

Ben looked away, taking a large gulp of wine. I had to make sure that I was going to be more than what had happened to me. I was a grown woman and it was time I took control of my life and decided where I wanted it to go. A new career could be the positive outcome in all this. Perhaps one in fitness? I could train to be an instructor. I was enjoying the exercise and working out with Jason. The idea swam around in my mind, beginning to take shape. It gave me something to think about for the future at least.

14

TUESDAY 10 OCTOBER 2017

I couldn’t tell Ben that, to a certain extent, he was right. Everything I did now was because of him. A knee-jerk reaction. My nameless attacker, who’d left me scarred, not physically, but in other ways. On the inside – scars that didn’t show. Ones that didn’t heal. I couldn’t tell Ben about the rage that boiled inside, threatening to escape all the time. I didn’t mention the man whose face I screamed into for no reason, except being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The emotion was alien to me and I had no idea how to control it. The only way I felt better was pounding the punchbag or the pavement. When my muscles screamed, the anger was channelled.

Before, I was so chilled out. Now a part of me was broken and I wasn’t sure if it could be fixed. I didn’t feel as scared as I had, not when I was outside. But the nightmares persisted, each one different; all with the same ending. My body, beaten and bloody, naked and exposed, left in the dirt.

My train of thought was interrupted by Ben reaching across the table and placing his hand on top of mine. I stared at it, not wanting to meet his gaze. It felt warm and safe.

‘I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.’

I pulled my hand away and got up, retrieving the cheesecake I was no longer interested in eating from the fridge.

‘It’s fine. Priorities change, that’s all. I’m going to take some time out, carry on with my training. Maybe do something else. I don’t know.’

Ben nodded but didn’t speak and we ate our dessert in silence. I struggled to swallow the cloggy sweet mixture. The evening had been spoilt and I wasn’t sure I could pull it back.

‘You’re going to be rolling in the money then, eh? Steak every night?’ Ben’s tone changed, and the mood lifted, the atmosphere dispelled. If only it were true. If I was lucky, the redundancy would cover most of my debt but wouldn’t be enough to live on for long.