I shuddered, chilled to my core but it had nothing to do with the winter temperature. Should I go back and see if the man was all right? How badly had Ian hurt him? I began to jog towards home, pausing as I passed a phone box. Stepping inside, I dialled for an ambulance, reporting a bleeding man outside Pulse gym and hung up, not giving my name. It was all I could do. I didn’t have time to process it. I was due back home to enter another charade.

40

WEDNESDAY 17 JANUARY 2018

When I arrived home, I could hear them in the kitchen laughing. Ben had pulled the table out from against the wall and positioned all the matching chairs around it, so it seated four instead of two. Tonight, the table was covered in a cream cloth, with candles at the centre, and laid for three, each place setting had a folded napkin and wine glass. Ben had made an effort. A pang in my chest reminded me he had done it for her, not me.

‘Just in time,’ Ben said, pouring me a glass of wine. The bottle was two thirds gone already. I must have missed the pre-dinner drinks or was the alcohol for Dutch courage? What was I walking into?

‘Be right in.’ I dumped my gym bag in my room and quickly removed my contacts in the bathroom. One of these days I’d forget, although it didn’t matter so much if Ben saw them. I sat on the toilet, gathering myself, trying to slow the race of my pulse. Unable to comprehend what I’d just witnessed. I couldn’t focus on it now, not with them waiting. I flushed and washed my hands and arranged my mouth into a smile.

Entering the kitchen, I took the glass Ben held out to me, draining it in one go. He raised his eyebrows at me, but I ignored him. I needed the alcohol to take the edge off.

‘Hi Amy, how are you?’ I asked.

‘Fine, thanks. Have you just been to the gym?’ Her nose wrinkled ever so slightly, and I smoothed down my static hair.

‘Yep, working up an appetite. Smells delicious, what are we having?’ I feigned a smile at Amy, who stretched her thin lips upwards a degree in return, her glare remained stoic. Had this been her idea or his? Was there an agenda to this dinner I wasn’t aware of? I wasn’t bowled over by her warmth, that was for sure.

‘Stew, it’s been in the slow cooker all day.’ Ben grinned, looking pleased with himself.

‘We have a slow cooker?’ I asked.

‘We do now,’ Ben said, spooning stew into bowls. I caught a glimpse of Amy stiffen at the use of the term ‘we’. The smell reminded me of winters with Mum, quelling hunger pains after a day playing out in the streets.