BooksBarbecue
Back Stalker
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. 39
  42. 40
  43. 41
  44. 42
  45. 43
  46. 44
  47. 45
  48. 46
  49. 47
  50. 48
  51. 49
  52. 50
  53. 51
  54. 52
  55. 53
  56. 54
  57. 55
  58. 56
  59. 57
  60. 58
  61. 59
  62. EPILOGUE
  63. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  64. MORE FROM GEMMA ROGERS
  65. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  66. ABOUT BOLDWOOD BOOKS

This is the longest night of my life. The wing is so quiet, you can hear a pin drop. I feel totally alone. I have no nails left, having bitten them down to the quick. Sleep will not come. It’s dark, probably around three or four in the morning by now. My limbs ache and my eyelids are heavy but I’m too scared to close them.

On arriving at HMP Downview there was more paperwork to go through, so I could be processed. Followed by a short interview to determine whether I am suicidal. Not quite. Then I had to sit in a special chair which by some magic indicated whether I had anything hidden in a bodily cavity. As I sat, waiting to be examined, the officer snapped on some blue gloves and told me I wouldn’t believe what people managed to shove inside them. It was gross and humiliating and that was even after the strip search.

I’ve been given an identity card with my own prisoner number and a breakfast pack. Apparently, I’m ‘lucky’, as I have my own cell. For the time being anyway. Right now, I wouldn’t mind someone to talk to. Anything to stop my mind whirring.

I perch on the thin mattress that’s stretched across my bunk, it smells musty and I don’t want to touch it, let alone sleep on it. I’m terrified to move or make a sound. Every prison drama I’ve ever seen flashes before me. All the violence I’ve heard goes on. How safe am I in here? I’ve never felt so vulnerable. I’m going to be easy pickings. Or maybe not? When they find out what I’m charged with.

I can do this. One day at a time, small steps. I’ll cope, I must. What choice do I have? This might not be it for me. Terry might be able to get me out. It’s so hard knowing your fate is in another’s hands. It’s just a waiting game now. I’ll talk to him later, see what my options are.

I know I did the right thing. Ian got everything he deserved. The streets of Sutton are a safer place and the world could do with one less misogynist. If I could go back, I’d do it again, in a heartbeat. My only regret is getting caught.

59

SATURDAY 27 JANUARY 2018

‘There you are,’ Ian said, patting the sofa next to him. Had I been too long? Was he suspicious?

I put my bag down and sat next to him. He looked drunk, his eyes were glazed, and he was leering at me. The drinks were already mixed, and I took a sip of mine. It was refreshing after the intensity of the red wine.

‘Are you feeling okay?’ he asked.

‘A little light-headed. Can we get some air?’ I said, standing and grabbing my handbag.