‘The rest of the time I’m still living, Eve. I’m in the fucking world, not shut away.’

I pushed him out of my room, but he sat outside my door for a while, refusing to move. He was stubborn.

‘Talk to me. It might help if you talk to me.’

So, I told him, I spat the words angrily at first, through a haze of tears. Told him how I was brutalised over a bin, discarded like I was a piece of rubbish. How I could barely look myself in the mirror knowing I’d hindered the investigation. How I worried about the other women he may have hurt. He listened through the door. I could hear his gasps of shock and sighs of frustration, but he let me talk without interruption until I had nothing left to say.

‘If you carry on living like this, he’s won.’

I couldn’t answer him.

‘Come and see me when you’re ready. I’ve got some ideas,’ Ben said, before I heard his door click shut and the sound of the Xbox firing up.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling as my anger subsided. Ben was just trying to help. I tried to imagine what it must look like to him, seeing his flatmate retreat from life altogether.

My phone rang, muffled by the duvet. Was it Mum again? I’d missed two calls over the past couple of days, not wanting to speak to her whilst I was out of it. I’d missed one from Stuart too, yesterday and when I finally found the phone, I saw it was him calling.

‘Hi Stuart,’ I answered, my voice shaky.

‘Hi Eve. How are you doing?’ he sounded relieved I’d answered.

‘I’m doing okay.’

‘That’s great. Listen, don’t worry, I’m not calling about your return to work. I wanted to check in and see how you were doing but I also wanted to let you know what’s happening here.’

‘Okay,’ I said.

He paused for a second and I sensed bad news was coming.

‘Debbie wanted to call you, but I wanted to speak to you first. As a result of the merger, they’ve put a large group of us at risk. Some will be able to request voluntary redundancy. If we don’t want to take voluntary, then it’s likely we may have to reapply for our positions.’ His voice was sombre, he was clearly unhappy about the development. ‘There’s going to be a consultation meeting on Monday, it’s the first step in the collective process. You do not have to attend if you don’t want to, but I think it would be in your interest.’

There was a long pause and I could hear Stuart’s rapid breathing at the other end. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say.