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Back Stalker Save as PDF
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. 39
  42. 40
  43. 41
  44. 42
  45. 43
  46. 44
  47. 45
  48. 46
  49. 47
  50. 48
  51. 49
  52. 50
  53. 51
  54. 52
  55. 53
  56. 54
  57. 55
  58. 56
  59. 57
  60. 58
  61. 59
  62. EPILOGUE
  63. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  64. MORE FROM GEMMA ROGERS
  65. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  66. ABOUT BOLDWOOD BOOKS

Now they will check the CCTV. I’ll be sat in the corner, clutching my Diet Coke. I was only there for an hour and it was okay. A lot of dull exercise talk. A discussion on the benefits of protein shakes and the best trainers for long distance. A pre-Christmas celebration, which I believe went on until late. They’ll be able to see Ian sit beside me, the two of us engaged in animated conversation. When I leave, they’ll see him follow me outside to say goodbye and give me a kiss on the cheek. They’ll see him staring after me for a touch too long as I walk away into the night.

Saturday 30 September 2017

Over the weekend, I made myself leave the flat. Ben and I went food shopping, larking around the aisles like kids. I felt safe with Ben, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking over my shoulder. I felt he was with me everywhere I went. We bought mostly convenience food, resigned that we were living as students anyway. Students with a little more money and better kitchen equipment. I was putting more and more on my credit card, living beyond my means and burying my head in the sand. I would sort it out soon, once I was back to myself. I made a couple of trips to the newsagents by myself for cigarettes. I was still smoking like a trooper, and I’d forgotten how expensive it was. I promised myself I would quit.

On Saturday I ventured out to the library on my own; it was somewhere I felt safe. Quiet, with a few people milling around and no crowds. Getting there was fine. The anxiety lessening with each trip out. I got lost in the books and picked up some light reading, immersing myself. Dusk crept up on me, apparent from the switching on of the library lights. God, how could I have been so stupid? Looking out at the darkness descending like a blanket made me shiver. I felt trapped. I could ring Ben to come and meet me? No, that was ridiculous. I was an adult and able to walk home in the dark like everyone else. I repeated the mantra in my head until the sliding doors closed behind me. Shutting me out of the warmth and safety of the building.