‘Let me put you to bed,’ he said, easing me down on top of the covers. We kissed again, his hands roaming under my jumper and caressing my breasts. His touch was oddly gentle, not how I expected him to be, the alcohol dulled my ability to reason. It wasn’t until his hand reached inside my jeans that I came back to earth with a thud. What the fuck was I doing? The lines were blurred, and I had to get my head straight.

‘Ian, stop.’ I mumbled as he kissed my neck, pushing his fingers into me. I forced his hand away. He sat up panting, eyes wide and teeth bared. The mask slipped for a second and for the first time I was truly afraid of him. Quickly, he composed himself. Running his hand through his hair, he smiled tightly.

‘I’m sorry. Too soon?’

‘Yes, sorry.’ My stomach gurgled from the alcohol sloshing around.

Ian straightened his clothes, then bent down and kissed my forehead.

‘I’ll let you get to bed. I’ll ring you tomorrow.’ Then he turned and walked out of the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

I sat in the darkness listening. Seconds later I heard the front door close. What had I done?

Sunday 28 January 2018

Terry sits across the table from me, munching on his free sandwich courtesy of the custody officer. We are alone in the interview room. This is our lunch break and there are no tapes recording us now. I nibble at my cheese sandwich from earlier, managing half of it by the time he has scoffed the lot. He licks his long fingers and a wave of nausea hits me.

‘Right, let’s get back to it shall we.’

I nod, although I’m unsure of what he wants to get back to. At this moment, my fate is sealed. My bravado from last night is slipping in the cold light of day.

‘What’s going to happen to me now?’ It comes out like a whimper.

Terry runs his hand back and forth over his bald head, sighing. It’s not good news.

‘Due to the seriousness of the offence, plus you’ve admitted to inflicting the wound which resulted in Mr Shaw’s death, you have been charged. So, later today you’ll be remanded into custody. You will have an appearance at a Crown Court, which could be as early as tomorrow, where they will read the charges against you. They may ask for an initial plea.’

I close my eyes as my stomach plummets.

‘I have to warn you that the likelihood of bail being permitted is low. To that end, I think it would be wise to build a case of self-defence and I strongly suggest you plead not guilty to the murder charge. I don’t think they have enough evidence to prove intent. It’s likely it’ll be downgraded to involuntary manslaughter.’