When I returned to the kitchen, my mother nodded approvingly and held out her car keys. Obediently I went downstairs to retrieve the holdall from her car. It was a mess inside; bottles and empty crisp packets littered the floor. The stench of neat alcohol reminded me of science class in high school. If she’d been pulled over, she would have been buggered. A sniff of the interior was enough to get you tipsy.

‘Mum, I’ll put your bag in the front room and pull out the sofa bed,’ I called when I returned, grabbing sheets from the airing cupboard and making up the bed. Wondering if I’d be helping her into it later.

‘That’s fine, I can sleep anywhere.’

I remembered I needed to text Ian. It was already six. It was shitty to let him down at such short notice and I hoped he wouldn’t be too angry.

‘Where’s your lodger?’ Mum called.

‘I think he’s out with his girlfriend,’ I replied, distracted. Focused on my phone, I began to type.

Sorry, will have to postpone. Just had Mum turn up! Five-hour journey down, no warning! Really sorry to cancel so late. x

That would have to do. When I returned to the kitchen Mum was in full flow, moaning about her neighbour’s cat which kept shitting in her front garden.

‘Let’s have something stronger, shall we? It’s a celebration after all. We haven’t seen each other in a long time.’ Mum disappeared from the kitchen, returning with the bottle of gin from her holdall. This was how it started. In a few hours I’d be putting her to bed whilst she barraged me with abuse. That was the extent of our quality mother and daughter time together.

Sighing, I gathered glasses, a bottle of tonic for me – she didn’t bother with it – and ice for a toast at the table.

‘To us,’ she said, clinking my glass. If only I could fast-forward to tomorrow. I prayed Ben wouldn’t come home tonight. Watching my mother get wasted would put him off me for life. ‘Down the hatch,’ she said, knocking it back in one.

I sipped mine, one of us had to keep a hold on reality.

She asked after Jane and I gave her the low-down on her travelling plans, her party being next week.

‘She bagged herself a doctor then, lucky girl. What about you? I haven’t heard you talk of a boyfriend for ages.’

‘There is someone, but it’s early days.’ Unsure if I was talking about Ben or Ian, or perhaps both.

‘I have news.’ She leaned in as though she was going to tell me a big secret, her nose growing pink. ‘Patrick’s asked me to marry him.’

My glass stopped inches from my open mouth.