I jogged towards Ian’s place and around the outside of the park, not daring to go in. Gripping my rape alarm the entire time and staying only on main roads. I wanted to find him, but I had to stay safe, now I knew what monsters lay in wait for the unsuspecting. Hands slippery with perspiration, I threaded my keys through my fingers to use as a weapon if I needed to. I hadn’t been jogging in the dark and the rush of air past my ears as I moved made it hard to hear. I looked all around, but I couldn’t find him or any evidence of an assault. There were no sirens or flashing lights, the streets were quiet. If only Emmerson hadn’t kept me talking.

Frustrated, I returned home, checking the PetCam straight away but Ian was nowhere to be seen. Defeated, I went for a hot shower and found some whisky stashed under the sink. I don’t remember how it got there, maybe it was from the housewarming party I’d held when I moved in and started working at Drive. My lame attempt at making friends in the area. The flat had been filled with airheads from the office, ones Debbie had rounded up for me. I didn’t have anything in common with them, their fake eyelashes and ridiculous drawn-on eyebrows. It was like I’d landed on an alien planet. The party wasn’t a raging success, although Debbie stuck to me like glue from then on, whether I liked it or not.

The whisky burnt my throat on the way down and warmed me through. It tasted vile though and one was enough. Unfortunately, it didn’t help me sleep. I stared first at the ceiling, then at Ian’s empty sofa until I switched my phone off.

Wednesday 17 January 2018

Ben came home from work the next morning in a panic, just as I was on the way out of the door to go to the club, confirming tonight he was doing the dinner for Amy and could I be around? I agreed, resigned to my fate.

‘I’ll pick everything up. What are you drinking?’

I wanted to say, ‘the strongest alcohol you can find’, anything to numb the pain of the evening, but Ben was stressed enough already, and I didn’t want to add to it.

‘Anything, whatever Amy likes.’ Hideous, it was just going to be hideous. I hadn’t forgiven her for pinching him right out from under my nose. Even though at the time I didn’t know I wanted him. She knew though. I could tell the way I caught her looking at me. I knew she saw me as a threat.

On the way into work, I stopped at the shop, buying all three local papers and scouring them over lunch for the piece on the attack.